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Disposable Memories At 2AM



baby you've broken me, worse than before;
[crash.smash.bash] our hearts have collided again,

but mines been left with a permentant reminder

[never trust a man whose assaulted you].


Too late, the damage is already done -

your lies and shattered promises sunk in deep;

Muma always told me chasing park cars was pointless,

but I could've sworn I was really chasing rainbows.

I used to be your shining star babydoll,

that's what you always claimed at 2am

when hugs&&kisses were not enough -

something else had to give -[mylove].

I could scream so loud now it would penetrate the walls,

but there's no point now you never heard me over the moans

and groans that you uttered, sparkle, twinkle sunshine -

I was always just a game to you [and you'd beat the house tonight].

I'm so glad you disposed of me honey,

as I didn't have the guts to get rid of you -


or at least not then, anyway.

Author notes

whose this about, youc an probably guess.

4. Word Bank.
Words used:
Broken
Crash
Damage
Lies
Promises
Rainbow(s)
Star
Babydoll
Hugs&&Kisses
Scream
Sparkle
Twinkle

[I'd stare at the sun for you, allow myself to go blind, because your face is etched in my mind anyway]

In a list

A contest entry

♥

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    February 24
    Edit | Reply

    Judged

    Ouch. This piece here is very full on and effective.
    Your words kind of punch the reader in the face and I cringed at your screaming through walls he couldn't hear over groaning.

    I hope you're doing better now
    Thank you for entering my contest and good luck

    Shari


  • Missa
    June 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow. pretty good write. i love the line: "but mines been left with a permentant reminder"


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    June 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    strong work and i like how you used the worlds here, i mean that is all i can say cause if i say that other i think ap will kick me off, it uses too much foul language, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • thepoetsings
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Don't currently have much to say...probably because of the subject, and it's a hard one for me to breach. All the same, nice write. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Kiss the girl--x
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'baby you've broken me, worse than before;
    [crash.smash.bash] our hearts have collided again,
    but mines been left with a permentant reminder
    [never trust a man whose assaulted you].'

    That first stanza gave me goosebumps and kept me hooked all the way down.
    At least now you've began to hate him, it'll make it easier to truly leave him behind.

    This was amazing *finalist*
    ♥


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    June 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    another beautiful piece that uses such strong and descriptive words of both pain and love.you have made good use of the word bank that i find provoking and gripping as the emotions flood through it well done sweetie


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    June 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    another beautiful piece that uses such strong and descriptive words of both pain and love.you have made good use of the word bank that i find provoking and gripping as the emotions flood through it well done sweetie


  • CharcoalScreams
    June 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love it!
    xXx

1 - 8 of 8