So like the petals from a rose
Tenderly removed, then I suppose
My heart for you, now exposed…
As the fragrance lingers evermore
Caressing my thoughts are.. you mi amor!
Author notes
l.o.l. I know this is not very unique, but thought I'd give it a try! p.s. no this is not about anyone just a write inspired by the contest req. and pic
A contest entry
- 30 Words Never Sounded So Beautiful. by Poetryintheblood.
450 points, ended July 6, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Smelling the roses...
they certainly are intoxicating! Another wonderful piece Swan.
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this is what i find so incredible
about you...you can do soft and sweet,
hardcore, humor, fantasy...you do it
all, and you do it with style. I love
this. Laney xxoo
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aaww..
that is such a great thing to say! i really appreciate it my friend!
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short sweet and delicate, the only way to express love is through the simplest words available. nicely done.
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Thanks!
I appreciate the comment, and am glad you liked this.
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Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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Thanks!
I'm very pleased you liked this piece!
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Ok great job
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ok..
Thanks!
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As Always 10!!!
Beautifully Written. I love it just as it is!!!!!! -
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THANK YOU!
I scored a ten! yeah me! l.o.l. 4 real I appreciate the support more than I can say!
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww u knuckle head
i love this you did fabolous hon good luck in the contest
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Thanks!
I appreciate your support my friend! glad u liked this!
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Boy, these here words shore do sound so purty. LOL Well done brother. Good luck and write on. One.
Dez
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l.o.l.!
Thanks homie! haha yeah , opened a package of mush and tossed it out all over these here pages i did yup! l.o.l.
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lol you mi amor..didn't know you speak spanish..i loved this few lines..you did wonderful job swany..keep it up
Ruby
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2 things:
third line would have better flow if it read 'My heart for you is now exposed...' or something to that effect.
the last line second part would sound better as a statement than a question 'you are mi amor'
Other than those 2 very small suggestions, this piece is beautiful and well written. Good work, very nice piece! Good luck and keep the muse alive!
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2 things
I have corrected, hope it meets your standards 'taskmaster' l.o.l. just playing! thanks for the suggestions and the support which is very much appreciated my friend! -
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Yay! It was great, and still is great! Well done!
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