The waters flow, and softly flow away,
clouds and rain, streams and fountains,
rivers, lakes, canals and oceans;
and life, with love like water in a way,
has wet and dry faces like a mountain,
of green and rocky places of emotion.
Where is that eternal spring which feeds
the heart with love which never fails?
The saints show it is not an idle notion;
for year by year, they give for others' needs
in shelters, hospitals and jails.
Their payment is intangible devotion.
We are not saints and not required to be,
but all desire to rest, and live in peace.
Where is the end to our commotion?
The waters chuckle liquid harmony,
they flow now and without cease -
my friend, let us study love in motion.
In a list
A contest entry
- Huguenauties Contest #38 for MEMBERS OF HUGH WYLES FAVOURITES GROUP ONLY by huguenauties.
750 points, ended November 28, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Four years of illumination by Sandi Alford.
1250 points, ended March 10, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
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You have penned the trickle effect of water extremely well here in these excellent sestets, each time the rhyme repeated was another cascade. Let's study love in motion indeed, wonderful summation
Thank you for joining me on my path of illumination, best wishes!
many blessings, Sandi
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Ah, this glows! And I see the face of reflection moving in the waters here, gently, but with such power! Moving a mountain always begins with a thought, and I'm so glad we don't always have to do that to make a difference...it's challenge enough to move a heart of stone. But you are right; love in motion, like the purifying action of water, does that!
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We all have our mountains to move, and hearts of stone to break. The gentleness of water does it all for us, we need patience and faith to see it through.
Thank you for your beautiful comments and faithfulness through the years.
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Congratulations Margaret on your Silver win. I'm so happy to see you won a trophy as well with your beautiful poem.
Jen
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Congrats on the silver...I still think I am a saint however...an angel...ever see Get Smart, the TV show? "Would you believe..." If you never saw it, or have no idea what I am bubbing about...that is no surprise.
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Thanks Yem! Whatever you say you are, people will test it. Are you ready?
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LOL, good one! You know I'm not ready! Fortunately no one listens to my nonsense.
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Love in poetry is not dead or not passe.
We just need more poets like Margaret who brings fresh metaphors and similes to the topic as well as a concise and tight form to create the stanzas.
A very well-written poem, though I am not as highly intelligent as our King, which is the reason he is our King, and need to learn and brush up on poetic devices.
Otherwise, another gem that I enjoyed reading, now which one do I vote for?
Gregg
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Such a perfect concept, Margaret,
"love in motion," for stagnant love
would certaily die.
"...The waters chuckle liquid harmony..."
A mind teaser, a pleaser just imagining
this happening.
A wondrous piece!
M-C
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Love for our fellow man is probably the most important kinds of love, what we were created for. But not only fellow humans but for all living creatures.
Your words are inspiring and comforting, Margaret and I wish you best of luck in the contest
Dee
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Thank you for your appreciation, Dee. Love feels good too, while
hurts whichever way we turn. God bless our companion animals.
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"We are not saints and not required to be,"
I am...it's a burden.
In your poem, love is more an eternal thing, springing more from life itself than from those fetid fields called human relationships, of which too often exist for less than virtuous reasons. It seems love is helping out someone who needs a hand or saying hello to someone at a party who seems to be left out...I think we'll get a lot farther if we start to see just how broad love is and can be...studies in motion.
And of course love can be found in enjoyments of peace and tranquility...sipping a cold Moxie.
The poem is beautiful, contemplative, soothing...but where is this place of liquid harmony? I know a land developer who might be interested.
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Thanks for your comment, Yem, balanced on the edge of humour and solemnity. Aspersions of sainthood are really a burden, let's form a support group. We can invite all the people who disappointed us by not being saints, either.
I think you have pinpointed what this kind of love is, helping just because it is needed. I'm happy you like the poem.
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Dear Margaret,
What did I say in my comment on your splendid Remembrance Day sonnet that caused you to change your mind about it? I look forward to your eventual freeing of it from contest and including it in the Wyleian Sonnet collection as CCXXXVII - what more can I say?
In this poem, "Love in Motion", (unusually for you) I find the shifting between pentameter and tetrameter in each of these stanzas, intriguingly illustrative of the irregular flow of water with its liquid surges and eddies. Your allusion to similarity with the flow of love and the shift to saintly comparison is aptly and meaningfully contrived.
A splendid poem, worthy of many votes.
Applause, love and hugs, XXX Hugh (R.)
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Sorry for the confusion King Hugh.
The sonnet remains, but I removed the pantoum in favour of this poem. I'm happy you agree with my choice.
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Today I was talking with a friend about poems that speak of love. It seems that many people think that poetry about love is passé. Those people do forget that love is life itself, and I'm sure all those who avoid writing about love, wish to love or be loved more than they do. Love in motion is life, is the nature that surrounds us, is the love we feel to our parents, children, friends and most of all, to ourselves.
Beautiful poetry here
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Thanks Mari. Perhaps people are tired of the love poems they have read and written, but could they be tired of love? There is nothing more important, nor more crushing when it fails. I'm glad you like this poem.
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Passé? Should writers be conscious of fashions? Writing about love isn't passé, but it's usually trite...as is the discussion whether love is passé.
Sorry Margaret. Just being silly.
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My grandmother used to tell us; "water is life". She said we could live off of only water for a time. It is a life-blood. Your words are inspiring and leave me with a sense of change. In this new era that we find ourselves in America, I think that you may have written the changes we must first make in ourselves. You have scribed beautiful sentiments here my friend. Thank you for this entry and I wish you the best in this tribute contest.
Always ♥
Renee
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Thank you Renee - I love the sayings of grandmothers, and I try to keep mine alive in speech as much as I can. I really feel that change is coming, we cannot tolerate this trend anymore. I would rather change minds first, and then let the world follow peacefully. I'm glad you like this poem.
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Dear Margaret, at least I'm on the right page this time.
Beautiful words for a beautiful poem.
Good luck in the voting.
Jen
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Thank you again Jen. I will be along soon to read yours. Best of luck!
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Dear Sweetpea, your words flow so beautifully and swept me along with it. The emotions I feel in your poem are amazing, especially the last line:
my friend, let us study love in motion. Magnificent.
Good luck in the voting.
Love Joan
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Thank you dear Joan. This is the world as one, I hope.
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A poem with a justified claim for anthologizing.
The work begins with an analogy between flowing waters over a landscape with significant life; the emotional and relational aspects of living.
Stanza two gains its foothold in the same parallel: flowing water has moved on to an eternal spring bringing metaphysics to your physics. Yet the minutiae are still significant in jails, hospitals and shelters. The Elizabeth Frys and Mother Teresas of the world held up as exemplars.
The third stanza effects its beautiful bathos: we are not saints but let's be happy for the waters "chuckle".
The final line is the winner. "love in motion" ripples out with a contagious affection and preserves, echoically, the water motif.
Rhythm and rhyme are harnessed to lubricate the fluency and meaning of a truly wonderful poem.
The six rhymes with "-otion" cement the poem delightfully.
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Thank you Ron, I'm very happy you enjoyed this. I don't remember anymore what my inspiration was, the poem is finished and whole in my notebook. I could have been trying to return to my ideals after a disappointment. You found all the best points of the poem, thank you for your study and analysis.
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This is wonderful, Margaret - I like the rhythm and the tricky thing you have done with the every third line end rhyme that makes it almost imperceptible. Lovely.
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Thank you for your comment Marcy, your appreciation is welcome.
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Liked the flow of these lines, the rhythm and rhyme you have used to convey your feelings. What lovely images yo portray in the verses.
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Thanks Erika - my gratitude is constant though its verbal expression is late.
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uplifting, optimistic poetry.
I love it. You ask for my least favourite part ...I have problem with the repeat of the word FLOW in the first line. Otherwise, I think it is perfect.
I like the way each verse changes from the introduction of an idea in nature in verse 1, to the transposition to real life in verse 2; the question and the 'saints.' and the idea of the last, especially in the last line: 'let us study love in motion.' That is a wonderful thought.
I am not sure about the word 'cease' which is a verb, not a noun, but poet's have a licence!
I think it is a terrific poem, with a lot of food for thought, good metaphor and rhyme and unique in the way it portrays the theme.
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Thank you for your lovely comment and interesting thoughts, Richard. Of course, I like the way I wrote the poem, but you have justification for your complaints. I'm happy you enjoyed it, thank you for applause.
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Water and life go hand in hand and you have captured this so well with your words, your images are crystal clear and convey 'Love in Motion' well.
Thank you for sharing this lovely poem with us.
Sue
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Thank you for reading and applause, Sue.
Best wishes for a great summer!
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a sweet and soothing flow.. both Love in moton and this beautiful stream of love.
Be ever blessed and bright,
Rahad
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Dear Rahad, thank you for your visit; it is always a pleasure to see you. I hope all is well in the wide world.
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I so loved the way in which you write ...
nature into the souls of people and into feelings ... You are truly linked to love in motion, which for me is our Living Water, God!
Thank you for the peaceful flow of this poem. It quenched my thirst.
Love
Myra
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Thank you so much, Myra!
The only thing in life which gives it purpose, to me, is love found in relationships. There are many kinds of energy, but the expressions of love in attention and affection, appreciation and honour enliven whom they touch. I like your link with the Living Water. That is the Source for the saints, and for us.
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Beautiful. I intended to write a poem about midsummer, but this has stopped me in my tracks. Here, the clouds lower over us, no birds sing - a grey day to begin. But elsewhere, it is good to think of the peace which the world deserves. Thank you.
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Thanks Keith, though I did not intend to be your anti-muse, and I hope the sun can shine through the literal and figurative clouds. A cloud is only water, and has its purpose.
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