You never my solider
only my brother
i was only an you where
there holding me at
night saying it would
be all right.
Now your gone
my sides are cold
and i feel so alone.
with out a doubt
you did what you did
walked away
cheated out on life
over some girl.
we stand here
remember all the old
times, cause love never
dies.
Never once in my life
would i think you
were able to do
such things.
you left us
with out a sweet dream
or a goodbye
years go bye and
it sill seems
unreal,
that your far
away while
were all stuck here
only having
memories of
are little solider boy
A contest entry
- Loss by MrsJones.
400 points, ended July 7, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
i kind of have the feeling
of who this is about, but
i'm not going to say
anything in case i'm wrong.
still, you are a great poet.
i love you to death, sis! -
There are a few word usage errors in this poem, the second stanza doesn't make sense, third stanza your should be you're, third to the last stanza bye should be by, and the last line should be our and not are.
Other than the errors the poem had a lot of emotion and depth, I really felt your pain. Thank you for entering.
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