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Symphony In Blood

Missing image

The review in the Times had read,
"If you want a good night's sleep
you won't find it in your bed --"
but in your seat at my symphony...

I thought, "What a cruel thing to say,
you wicked, tasteless, little man.
If I ever meet you on the streets
I'll kill you where you stand!"

(Hmm...I do believe I've found my muse...)

Piano string, one of the high notes
Which one I'm not sure, but it was sharp.
"If I cut his throat just ever so right
I'll drain every drop of blood from his heart."

It was a foggy night in London Town,
the air foul with bad music and drink.
His colleagues told me where to find him,
I smiled, and thanked them with a wink.

 

♪

 

I found I bore easily
as I waited in shadows,
so I tested the string on a harlot.

Killing her was so easy,
I saved her life, really...
She was a daughter that someone forgot.

 

♪ 

 

Twas an hour or so later, I believe,
that my target came stumbling my way.
He greeted me with a drunken smile
I nodded, keeping my emotions at bay.

I waited til he passed, then followed.
Startled, he turned and looked back at me.
He asked me who I was, what I wanted.
I said, "Sorry, m'lord, you don't remember me?"

He came closer, squinted and said, "Ah, yes ~
you wrote that symphony that was such a bore!"
I slew him right there, in his muddled state,
here's one critic who'll critique no more.

 

♪

  

So inspired, that I was,
With blood on my hands
I sat at my piano, struck the keys...

It poured out of me,
this music so intense...
A symphony in blood, my masterpiece!

 

♪

 

"Art is not for critics" is my motto
and I do highly suggest you agree ~
for if I ever learn of your criticism
you will inspire my next symphony!

Make sure that you know my name,
pay attention, sir, will you please?
I was born Lord Byron von Jaymes,
but you may call me Mephistopheles.

 

 

 

Author notes

Author: Xianaria

For Do You Feel:
1. Enter your best PW that you've written. If it won gold in previous contest, enter it.

Option 4 - Bring Me Your Wicked by XpushXmeXagainX.

Prompt:
How can you play a masterpiece when your hands scream murder?
(Lowercase Prelude)

Photo credit:
http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e20/fadedsilence88/musicofdeath.jpg
(Enhanced by me)

Mephistopheles (also Mephistophilus, Mephistophilis, Mephostopheles, Mephisto and variants) is a name often given to one representation of the devil or Satan. It is also the name used for the demon in the Faust legend. ~ From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mephistopheles

In a list

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 70 of 70

  • Hikari Lady
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    Who'd ever disagree with you. lol
    That was amazing, the imagery, the thoughts process, the fear, the menace, the anger and the mixture of art and blood. An amazing entry. Thanks for entering and good luck.

    Love
    ~Noor


  • Floorboards
    March 13

    Edit | Reply

    Superb

    Hehehe, fantastic, can't believe how many trophies this has won, well I can, but, well you know. I adored stanzas three and four especially, but the whole poem was penned with skill and intelligence, great write.

    Well done on yer buckled brown cup.

    Floorboards.


  • BAMFNx3
    March 12

    Edit | Reply
    This was wonderful! I loved the story line! And the rhyming was terrific! Excellent job. Thank you for enetering my contest and good luck!

    <3Late

  • ichigosama
    March 10

    Edit | Reply

    ichigosama

    this is extremely dark. great. if this was a little kid, this only would give him/her nightmares for a while. great job and thanks for entering!!!


  • Pretty Disaster
    February 18

    Edit | Reply
    This a great piece, the creepy factor is brilliant! My one complaint is that you didn't tell me what inspired you to write it, which was one of the contest requirements. Thank you for entering and good luck.
    --Pretty Disaster


    • Xianaria gold member
      February 18
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you ~
      Sorry about the inspiration note, or lack thereof...
      The original prompt for this piece was this:

      Prompt:
      How can you play a masterpiece when your hands scream murder?
      (Lowercase Prelude)

      Being a musician, I let the prompt dictate it's direction. Kind of a Phantom of the Opera, Jack the Ripper, Sweeny Todd mix.


  • ToxicSuicide
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my... the idea and the feelings behind this.. wow. It's genius. What bloody music must have been producted from this. You described this so well, it was like a movie playing out in my head. Maybe an older one, in black and white but still a movie. Don't change anything, it's too perfect already. Great job, thank you for entering my contest and the best of luck to you!
    ~ToxicSuicide.


  • Rhapsody
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    I lubz this but which option was this for?

    • Xianaria gold member
      February 6
      Edit | Reply
      1. Enter your best PW that you've written. If it won gold in previous contest, enter it.

      It's also music-oriented


  • Darkwell
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this was wicked awesome great story and execution, literally execution

    this part was sad

    Killing her was so easy,
    I saved her life, really...
    She was a daughter that someone forgot.

    she was innocent, that was mean killing her

    So inspired, that I was,
    With blood on my hands
    I sat at my piano, struck the keys...

    It poured out of me,
    this music so intense...
    A symphony in blood, my masterpiece!

    I like this part and that keys and masterpiece kinda keep a rhyme thing and it would have been hard to end the last line in peas anyway

    WTG


  • November-Dani
    November 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is fantastic!
    It was a foggy night in London Town- nice touch.
    How many trophies!!!!!
    This is very well written, i love the notes between each phrase and i loved the overall flow of the peice. Very very well written.
    Thanks heaps for entering.
    Dani.


  • Forgotten Anomaly
    October 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with your motto, art is in the eye of the beholder. A wonderful poem, easily read and understood. Very origional, I greetly enjoyed it. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • echo-ink
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Holy, what a story, I remember reading this before, loved it then, still do.

    Bell, xx


  • LadyDementia gold member
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Congrats on all the shinys!

    Wow, I won't critique This is fantastic I love the macabre air surrounding it. You set the scene and told the tale very well. Superbly penned, good luck


  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    From the beginning to the end this was fantastic. I loved the imagery here that you create with words. Congrats on all your other trophies...well deserved.

    **Ktulu Blackwolfe**


  • GypsyEyes
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love the title and your poem is also creative and i like that. thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox


  • XpushXmeXagainX
    October 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing.
    Absolutely amazing.
    Thank you ever so much

  • echo-ink
    October 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Holy crap!
    8 golds, 2 silvers and an HM
    This was awesome, evil and very creative.
    Playing the keys with bloody hands, I will in no way give you a bad critique, hehehe, nossa, not me!
    Loved it.

    Bell, xx


  • SatuRn Grotesk
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    W-O-W

    I am completely blown away. I am not worthy of this contest after reading this, LOL. I could hear angry piano music playin' in the background, hear angry strings, a whole angry symphony to be exact!! The imagery in this is very well incorperated and the picture, well that's lovely too!!

    Great write and Good luck!!

    SatuRn


  • Rakerman1
    October 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Disturbing but very well done!

    Gret work and thanks for entering

    Raker


  • Dark passenger
    September 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    First let me say great title and picture.

    "Art is not for critics" is my motto
    and I do highly suggest you agree ~
    for if I ever learn of your criticism
    you will inspire my next symphony!

    Make sure that you know my name,
    pay attention, sir, will you please?
    I was born Lord Byron von Jaymes,
    but you may call me Mephistopheles.

    Riveting ending. And I love how you used the name Mephistopheles as oppose to Satan, Devil, Beelzebub or another better known demon.

    Allawy AODP


  • Charity Ann
    September 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is brilliant, although a bit gorey for me. It's very Crime and Punishment....getting inside the mind of a murderer. Congrats on the gold!


  • trekkergirl
    September 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is an excellent read. As I can see by all the trophies that you have won I don't think that I am the only one who thinks this. Keep up the good work.

  • kistoclou
    September 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    I really did enjoy this piece. It is something I would love to write about. There really wasn't much wrong with it, however, that doesn't mean it's perfect. It was a tiny bit to long by which I mean the first few stanza's. If you want to discuss the horrid critic you could have done it better. I like that it wasn't rhyming at that part but it could easily be better. And the part where you said "(Hmm...I do believe I've found my muse...)" that was unnecessary. It could have easily been worded better. I still really enjoyed it.


  • TabbyCat
    September 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You've earned a place on the finalists list by virtue of your marevelous storytelling ability. the rhyme was unfoced..and it flowed fairly well in most places.

    *Shudders*..how irrisistably evil!


  • swim.x
    September 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    9 trophies! And you deserved them all, let me tell you. This was a GREAT write. You uptook the prompt from a previous contest (in your author notes) with such ease and your rhyme scheme was immaculate. I have practically fallen in love with this poem.
    Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
    Chin up,
    Swim.x
    I found I bore easily
    as I waited in shadows,
    so I tested the string on a harlot.

    Killing her was so easy,
    I saved her life, really...
    She was a daughter that someone forgot.


  • AbandonedAngel
    September 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...that was pretty incredible! The only part that wasn't exactly great was the first few lines but other than that I was totally entranced! Thanks for entering


  • AutumnsFlame
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I thought this was really twisted, which is exactly what made it good! I liked this a lot... it's my type of writing... The ending was my favorite part because it really puts an impact on the reader... the whole "composing a symphony after a murder" thing... yeahhh... Thank you for entering my contest.


  • TransientByNature
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Fun fun fun!

    This was a fun read! The concept is a good one. It would make a good book, though I'm sure it's been done. I kept thinking of Sweeney Todd as I read; the correlation plot-wise is minimal but that was the feel I got.
    It could have been a bit more thoughtfully composed (structurally), but the vernacular was a perfect fit to the theme; in fact, I would venture to say that it was the most prevalent aspect of this poem, and definitely my favorite aspect. You'll have to forgive me of my slight hesitance at critiquing this particular poem :-)


  • misshugglebugglez
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    definite finalist! lol!

    I really enjoyed this one. much different than some other
    entries! This was great! much drama in it. this is very skilled! i hope you enter more poems in future contests of mine! good luck/good job/congrats on your other contests! =D
    Loved it!
    -Peanut Butter Fudge (Adria) loves ya!


  • sableofnight
    August 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Am bowing to you right now, beautifuly done.


  • Meroza
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oooh, dark, dark, dark! Nearly gave me an orgasm while reading! Excellent!

    Welcome to the finalists list ^_^


  • Polaja Greeters member
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the story that you have created with this piece, very dark! Thank you for entering this contest just a note to ask you to check that you have followed the rules - I wish you the best of luck when it comes to judging!

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • PoetryDove
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Woah. Talk about evil.
    Well... not only evil, but getting back at someone. It was well penned. I really liked it.

    There's just something about it...
    It is what I'm looking for, though.

    Thanks much for entering
    (and for following the rules)
    sarah ~

    p.s. sorry it took forever for me to comment -_-


  • SignifyingNothing
    August 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Read and commented before. I liked it then, I like it now, great poem.


  • XxemohatexX
    August 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ths is a realy great poem and after reading the auther notes i knew more about it and you are a great writer but you have one so many on this peace i am afrade i have also read this befor enter something else that tells me your are not a one peace wonder


  • peregrin
    July 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, a perfect entry for my contest!
    I love the picture, it is brilliant!
    Good luck in my contest!


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very well done. i think you will do quite well in this contest that we both have entered. congratulations on the trophies you have already earned with this wonderful write. viyanna rosemarie


  • The.Tango.Emily
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think I already commented on this before. And I still love it just to let you know! Welcome to the finalists

  • ecrivain01
    July 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    LOL ...

    not bad. Congrats on the trophies.

    Thanks for entering.


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing poem you have created
    Lyrical poetry in perfect motion
    Best wishes to you and thank you for sharing with us
    Julie

  • The.Tango.Emily
    July 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is fantastic!
    I loved the music notes in between!
    And I learned a new lesson today, never tell anyone their music puts you to sleep even if it is true!


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    July 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice dark poetry. Normally I do not see the dark poems so well done. It flows well from beginning to end.


  • Night Terrors
    July 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow thats cool I really loved it kinda like Jack the ripper meets Mozart lol but I want to point out that Symphany of Blood is the title of a video game a good one but thought you should now. I relly did love this congrades your a finalist


  • owlish
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is scary... lol, jk, the flow and rhyme is perfect, and you don't sound like some really creepy serial killer either, the words have great impact. Awesome job, can see how you earned all those gold and silver trophies, you'll probably get one in the contest you're in now too!


  • Lost Vampyre Angel
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    ooh i can see why you have won so many trophies and things with this, seriously...
    this is amazing, your form is spot on and the way it is written, the stanza's really make it stand out and make you read on like a insatiable urge,

    your rhyme scheme is amazing and it really pulls the reader in, i love it dear, the flow is perfect and i could imagine these words being whispered in some kind of horror movie, and I like the fact that the grammar is spot on with the spelling too,
    thanks for entering, best of luck in the contest,
    all my love,
    kitty xxxx


  • BlackSwan
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Chilling, dark, cunning! I loved this write it was amazing

    -Good Luck


  • daviscth silver member
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!!! You might make me want to hold these contests more often. Thank you for this awesome piece.


  • HiddenByTheDark
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ok I know I changed the rules after you entered so I wont DQ you because it was a last min thing and I don't like DQing... But I do love this poem the passion and rage... imagery just everything was perfect.. good luck and keep penning

    ♥always Kate


  • 2lullabyhaven
    July 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yikes, I am speechless I think congrats on your trophies


  • albymyheart gold member
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    A Gruesome masterpiece!

    I dare not critique THIS piece lest I meet you in a dark alley one day! lol

    I thought this was an excellent poem. The story was told very well with vivid imagery. It flowed well, the form was appropriate and metered the pace at which to read this.

    The rhyme worked well, but in this particular contest I was hoping for more lines with the same rhyming sound. Thank you for the opportunity to read this amazing piece and for entering my contest...alby


  • echo-ink
    July 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Allrighty then, right to the finals on account of i don't dare do nothing else. yessa

    here, have some bunnies just in case your bored. you can slay them instead of me. aaaaahhhhhhh!!!


  • Luckintheshadows
    July 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    mmmm....a lovely take on the given prompt...Although murder and blood shed are not really my thing, I did enjoy the way this poem was written.
    I really, REALLY like the second last stanza, that really did make me smile.

    Thanks so much for sharing this, and for taking the time to enter my contest,

    Luck.


  • Melissa Burns
    July 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the side not eclearing up the name bit, i was confused. thanks for the entry

  • SignifyingNothing
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Gotta love an evil bloody poem.....this was cool. Sounds like you did justice to the prompt. Hopefully, I'll never give you a bad comment, Xianaria


  • JustFallingApart
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, that was pretty freakin sweet. I wonder how my voice trainer would react if i showed her this. hahaha jk, nice write and thanks for entering


  • Quill Bill
    July 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    and i thought music was the food of love.

  • AdulteratingDeploy
    July 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Nice,`

    Very good write. Good luck in the contest.

    p.s. get out of my way. lol.
    <3Kelsea

  • XxemohatexX
    July 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i love this it is totaly mi kind of poetry it was writen perfectly and though it was long it kept me in there i never once got lost i totaly can here it with an emo music backround on the radio some time soon you have a good chance in our contest


  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    July 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow i liked this alot. Very very very well written i loved the little music notes. My favorite part was when you said "I waited til he passed, then followed.
    Startled, he turned and looked back at me.
    He asked me who I was, what I wanted.
    I said, "Sorry, m'lord, you don't remember me?"

    He came closer, squinted and said, "Ah, yes ~
    you wrote that symphony that was such a bore!"
    I slew him right there, in his muddled state,
    here's one critic who'll critique no more." that was worded very well. Thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck.
    ..<3..
    Shelly


  • sailor ptolema
    June 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wooh! ! l loved this!
    my jaw totally dropped when I read the part about killing the harlot out of boredom!!! ....so dark
    love, loved it!!


    ~s.p.


  • anon053641
    June 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Ten points for creativity!

    I always like to read story poems. Mainly because I am hopeless at writing stories. Rhythmically it's not the greastest I've ever read but it's far from being the worst. Good luck in the contest.


  • ShannonLea
    June 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like it
    ...It reminds me of sweeny todd actually...
    Impressive!


    • Xianaria gold member
      June 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you to be honest, i haven't seen the movie yet! lol

  • thenorthernstar
    June 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    cool Paercut angel is right this rocks shes right your a finalist


  • Night Terrors
    June 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for the entry I apprecite your time not a bad poem


  • Soft-Rain
    June 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your diversity always amazes me! I love that you can take any prompt and make it your own!
    Now the poem is ooooooooooo frightning as intended!

    Great job on this one!
    love
    ~Lisa~


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    June 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    like the other comment said, this reminded me of Sweeney Todd. quite villainous. i liked it. well done.


    • Xianaria gold member
      June 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you! hmmm i haven't seen that one yet...i took your prompt and went as far as it would take me!

  • midnightblue1272
    June 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Whoa!

    Now, this was devilishly good. Kind of like Sweeney Todd, only it involves a musician & not a barber. Brilliant.

1 - 70 of 70