my thoughts

there are certain thoughts that bind my mind
thoughts that i can never quite push away
thoughts i wish to fulfill but never can
the thoughts of guiltless murder
the thoughts i commonly have of breaking your flesh
feeling your blood run down my skin
smelling the rusty smell of it drying
they give me chills just thinking those thoughts
but other times
i think about your heart
i think aobut how fun it would be to make it stop
how amazing it would feel
to feel its beating slow and stop
i want to hurt you
i dont quite know why
but theres something about you
something that makes me violent
something that makes me crave your insides
is this what some people call lust?
or is it just my sanity fading?
im not quite sure what it is but im still tempted
sometimes
to kill you.