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In A Child's Hands

Twigs become ships and boys take to guttered seas
  Racing inevitably towards sewer shattered dreams

Author notes

15 words on "In his hands"

Remembering the days when we used to race sticks down flooded street gutters

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • luna-midnight gold member
    June 22, 2008

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    nicely done, really like the thought into this, beautifully done
    take care
    stephanie


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    June 22, 2008

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    Yes! Children's imaginations can make something out of little can't they! Very creative! The metaphor at the end makes me think of how innocence is so easily shattered and lost...


  • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
    June 21, 2008

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    oh gees wow powerful words here Dan...a great strong way of describing the activity


    Cin


  • notorious gold member
    June 21, 2008

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    I think "sewer's shattered dreams" could simply be "sewer shattered dreams"...the possessive form seems a tad unnecessary.

    Otherwise, another write exemplifying how brevity can be your best friend...there's so much growth and imagery here.


    • Weltt
      June 21, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      thats a good point!! I do like it better without being possessive just never occured to me


  • Lavender Butterfly silver member
    June 21, 2008
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    Truly thought provoking... x


  • sailor ptolema
    June 21, 2008

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    awwww
    sailing toward ending childhood.....so sad...
    but LOVELY!
    great great great

    best of luck in the contest!

1 - 7 of 7