holes contrived
scars gaping
stitchings shorn
tubes disgraced
valves loosed
cells noxious
soul uplifted
tools sanguinary
genesis terminated
Author notes
This is how I felt when my heart was broken all those years ago.
A contest entry
- looking for new favorites by lively banter.
845 points, ended August 14, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Well, I like it. I understand that the clipped, "cut" quality of the poem is a part of the feeling that is being expressed . . . old memories do not happen in a long, chronological procession, they are instead bits and pieces of who we were once. Parts of the past overlapping the present are how memories are experienced, snippets flashed through our minds, impressions rather than events.
A smell, a texture, a remembered angle of the westering sun . . . impressions, like still photographs.
Well done.
Garrison
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nice work
Hey I think this a good poem but I think you could put a lot more heart in soul in it. I have read soe of your other stuff and by reading that I know you could do a lot better than you did in this one.
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Hi, I'm looking for poetry, not a list of nifty words.
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