one
doesn't have to look
through a child's eyes
to see
the dragonfly's wings
have more facets
than a diamond
I stand
still as the sun in the sky
and admire this gem
though wrens flit
to and fro
to their nests
though red winged blackbirds
fret
and wheel
and teal
swim close
with their young...
I stand
mesmerized
by her shimmering beauty
if
she will but stay
one minute more
still
in the sun
Author notes
"demoiselle":a diminutive of mademoiselle, meaning "young lady"; is a term in French also used to designate the lovely dragonfly!
painting: "geinrust farm in watery landscape"
by Piet Mondrian, 1905-06
In a list
A contest entry
- simple things by Cat.
2100 points, ended July 8, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Animal Poems by FloridaGatorQueen.
525 points, ended May 14, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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This is a really beautiful poem. That picture is really cool. Makes me want to see through dragonfly wings. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest
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well done . . liked "I stand still as the sun" and "mesmerized by her shimmering beauty" . .
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This is such a lovely & graceful penning, Scribe...much like the dragonfly you describe. I was on break at work the other day, on a patio with a metal bar enclosure. I was witness to a hummingbird's sudden arrival & whispered to several others to turn around slowly & quietly. It's never something I take for granted, let alone while surrounded by concrete & metal. Nature's glory always, always leaves me in awe. You've done it justice here, my Friend. 
Wanda
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beautiful. Your wordplay is mature and childlike at the same time. The third stanza is my favorite.
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Bravo! You captured the beauty of the moment, and showed it to me. You have an artist's eye, and a poet's pen. Awesome power, handled so gently here.
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a very beautiful piece
indeed. there is perhaps
some beauty in all things.
as i believe there is
truly, this piece is
a favorite of mine
beginning at the title.
perhaps, i have to incorporate
the title into one of my
writings.
demoiselle, a beautiful word. -
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It sounds Chaucerian to me..
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in it's own right, certainly. It's haecceity gives it one of it's most endearing qualities, i would think.
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after each read of this piece
the word lovely comes to mind-
i love the imagery with the birds and just the natural pictures painted
so glad to find you here and here with something other than haiku is an even greater treat.
(although i love your haiku)
m
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i question the use of so many single word lines, i've been questioning line length choices lately and especially single word lines... each line carries a weight and some words certainly deserve to occupy a single line for many reasons... but does a work like "I" deserve an entire line, i take pause and wonder... i know you write in short eastern forms quite often and you are probably considering things i am not, but i think its worth reconsidering the breaks here...
read the same lines (almost) out loud with longer line lengths:
"one doesn't have to look
through a child's eyes
to see dragonfly's wings
have more facets
than a diamond"
reads differently to me, a bit more naturally but in the end the words are yours and this is a very good poem as you have formated it...
and a nice use of the contest prompt
al -
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Thanks for your thoughtful comments, I'm often at odds with myself about how to lay out my ideas (no doubt I'm far from alone!)
Here I was trying to create an effect to slow the reader down...
but even as I typed it on the screen the thought came that it may seem simply chopped up.
You've given me words for thought.
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Oh, this has truly captured the beauty in that moment in time watching a dragonfly. Reading it has such a calming effect, the imagery is brilliant.
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Beautiful imagery. The picture has a great aura too, it really adds to the poem. The dragondly description is as good as it gets, I think. Good job!
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Pretty.
I don't know about the last stanza; this part;
"I stand
mesmerized
by her shimmering beauty"
I don't know, maybe it's the shimmering word. Seems too dull here. Cliche perhaps. Regardless, like I said this is pretty.
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Thanks for your thoughts ,Rowan.
Dragonflies frustrate me, they are so radiant and beautiful...but they won't sit still for you!
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oh, my...
"the dragonfly's wings
have more facets
than a diamond"
this takes my breath...I get a little tinge of saddness.
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Beautiful write. I wish I can write with such imagery. An excellent write about a dragon fly... something so simple but once it is defined... it becomes something so much more. And for that I applaud you!
I'm glad you understood my other poem a Verse for Poetry. Thanks so much for the comment. HAve a blessed day.
-Blanche
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there was such a softness and a whisper to this that i adored
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Love It! Man I wish I could write like that, you keep me going man.
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Thanks, "Van", for the kind words!
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