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Descent Into Insanity

What do you call insanity?
This sense of unreality?
Or something else entirely?

Deep, black pupils, look through, inside.
(We see you come; we open wide.)
Truth lurks in here; you cannot hide.

In my eyes, is your reflection,
Demonstrating the direction,
Of your mind’s dark disconnection.

Your image, taunting, laughing, there,
Will show it plainly, if you dare,
To step through, to my darkened lair.

You’ve come? Oh, good, the fun begins!
The stakes are high, but if you win,
You’ll go back out, not further in.

The game of life is played in here.
Dance on the edge, conquer your fear.
Or better, don’t let it appear.

You’re slipping now, spiraling down.
Shh! Don’t cry! Don’t make a sound!
Let your perceptions come unwound.

I lied? Of course! That is my way.
I wanted you to come and play,
So I could take your mind away.

Not something I could take by force,
But must convince you to endorse,
By letting terror run its course.

Intellect superbly twisted,
Soon you won’t know you existed,
Madness cannot be resisted.

You’ll gain your sweet serenity,
And you will find amenity,
When you lose your identity.

Hey, wait! Not fair! You can’t depart!
Your mind is mine to tear apart,
Reshape into an abstract art.

There is no true escape from here,
So struggle, try to disappear.
I’ve been, and will, be always near.

Because I am a part of you.
That’s something that you can’t undo.
I’m madness you cannot subdue.

I am your insanity.
This sense of unreality?
It comes from you entirely.

Author notes

I'm not entirely sure why I wrote this poem or what it was about. I've never been sure. I just liked writing it.


Still Anonymous

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • FinalWhisper
    September 22

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    Insanity of course

    Why, this piece is about insanity of course and well worded message of insanity too I must add. I enjoyed reading this, it was so much fun I had to give you a chance in the final round. I love the word use and the flow is very good. You could say it flows insanely.

    I could barely word insanity better then you do here in this work of yours-but rest assured, this piece has inspired me to new levels of thought concerning the insane and creative. This is a creative piece and it really held me till the very end, better then a roller coaster ride.

    Thanks for the entry.

    Truly and Darkly,
    Dirk


  • ASmileForYou
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    I love this. It was superbly written and I"m glad you entered it. My favorite stanza is:
    "Not something I could take by force,
    But must convince you to endorse,
    By letting terror run its course."
    It's perfect.


  • nichtmich silver member
    December 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Gleefully dark and twisted, me likey! At first I thought it was the Devil, but it's the Devil within!
    Thanks for your entry.


  • TabbyCat
    November 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Some really nice flow and rhyme here...with a "crazy" twist at the end. Nice.


  • colie50
    November 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this write. It's got a clever, witty tone that really adds to it. Brilliant write, and good luck in the contest ^^


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice write. Good rhythm, it moves at a great pace. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper


  • Florida Sunshine
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    First of all, I love the chosen format you've decided to you use. The three lines -- all rhyming -- with a certain sense of meter -- really makes this what it is. ~ Though, the simplistic nature of the form -- gives a 'twilight zone' sense to what you've written which makes this all the more interesting. Suicide asked me to assist judge. I don't know why cause I really don't care for dark poetry, unless its really good. ~ I actually liked this 'alot'.

    Thanks for entering the contest ~ It was a welcome pleasure to read your work.

    Florida Sunshine


  • arnica karuna
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    mmm. sounded weird, but I guess that served the purpose. This write was not so glaringly dark, but yes, I'd still call it somewhat in your face kinds. I liked the rhythm and imagery. I liked the theme that you've chosen to write about. It is again something which I haven't come across a lot of times.
    Loved the last stanza complete and stanzas 2 and 3 as well.
    Thanks for entering my contest and good luck. Cheers.

  • kistoclou
    September 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    I really liked this poem. At first I was worried your rhyme scheme would piss me off but it was actually really good. (the reason you wrote it is because you were insane then lol) It has a lot of truth and truely not much I would do to change it. Just a few grammatical error (which I also do) the one I noticed is on the last stanza second line. There shouldn't be a question mark there (oooh make it an exclamation mark) ok um besides that it was great.


  • catalyst.
    September 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is probably one of my favprites it was just altogether breathetaking. My eyes were glued to the screen the entire time. I loved the imagery and the rhyme.
    great..just amazing


  • HereComesTheSun
    September 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    rhyming was top notch over all a super poem
    keep up the ink


  • vampireblood
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this. I love the insanity about it. It flowed very nicely to. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
    ~Vampy~


  • darlintlc silver member
    August 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is alittle crazy in it self! ha! But I really got into it...does that make me crazy? Who cares!

    I'm not to fond of long poems but you showed me they can hold your attention if they are well written as you most surely have done!

    Great job and thanks for entering
    darlintlc


  • LadyDementia gold member
    August 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Neat read, flow is spot one, good luck


  • edit my world.
    August 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You’ll gain your sweet serenity,
    And you will find amenity,
    When you lose your identity

    my favorite lines...thankis for entering


  • skilter
    August 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very smooth flow, nicely written, nice job!

  • know one
    August 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    cool poem,I thought the rhyme was forced in places but over all it was great,thanks for entering!


  • Meroza
    August 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "I lied? Of course! That is my way.
    I wanted you to come and play,
    So I could take your mind away."
    Those line made me giggle. You've penned a nice piece of work here. The rhyme made it a little fun to read ^^

    Best of luck


  • XxSuicidal-LovexX
    August 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my, sick..twisted..dark..perfect! This is incredible, made me lose my head for a second even. I've never read anything like this before. Madness lies within these stanzas, and darkness in between each line. Gah, i love it. Best of luck to you


  • Dark Prince Chaos
    August 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    great write fantasic flow i loved it great work and good luck in my cotest-bows-


  • SaviDropKick.Oi.
    August 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hey good job,
    and good luck in the contest!!
    Love,
    Mouse


  • XxemohatexX
    August 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i am sorry but this one was a litttle to long for me good luck with everthing else though


  • xXxIceQueenxXx
    July 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Incredible write. I love how you describe insanity as something like a person and then at the end "it comes from you entirely"!

    Thank you so much for entering my contest!!


  • thearmsofsorrow
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW
    you have some really amazing lines here
    this could even prolly qualify as option one haha
    thanks for your entry
    i really like

    this verse:

    You’ll gain your sweet serenity,
    And you will find amenity,
    When you lose your identity.

    and ths one:

    You’ve come? Oh, good, the fun begins!
    The stakes are high, but if you win,
    You’ll go back out, not further in.

    i think that you used your words very powerfull here. and ive got to say that while some parts of the flow were a little iffy, and some parts sounded like you were trying too hard for a rhyme, over all i love this one

    cheers


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    July 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah insanity, what a beautiful state. I like to call it the state of knowledge, but hey that's just me


  • completely mad
    June 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thias was awesome...it flowed perfectly ...thanks so much for entering this

1 - 26 of 26