In a quiet forest, a grave stands
“Untitled” by any marking stone.
No “gift dedications” lie here,
Remembering the life
Of an “untitled” criminal.
“Oliver” his name may have been;
Or John, Daniel even Angelo.
He took “one step” too far
Over the accepted rules
And paid with his life.
Too much to suggest that
He was “faultless” before
Greeting “death’s end”. They
Who took the “coward’s way”
And sent him down to
The lime’s “acidic penitence.”
I hope they have to see
A “mind doctor” in an
“Ode to the black sun.”
Experiencing the guilt
Of taking someone’s “grandfather”
On those “untitled” gang leaders,
Who, “two faced” ordered the death,
Of one of their own, I wish something
Stronger than “the F word.”
I hope they feel his pain.
Author notes
A poem constructed with the the titles of my 15 previous poems (used titles in quotes.) And yes, three of them were untitled.
The poem is a reference to the gangland culture that has unfortunately arisn in Ireland.
A contest entry
- Previous works? Make em new. by Electric Sunrise.
380 points, ended June 25, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This was interesting. Different. I liked it.
Yink
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You know, you really SHOULD title some of those "untitled" but fair play for getting them to actually work together.
I was concerned about the repetitive nature of the untitled's originally, but they actually blended in well in the end.
Cheers for giving this a shot followed by a good kick up the arse.
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