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Bi-Polar Boogie

Maniacs streaking the floor
in early primal rage,
lost in newfound freedom
after leaving the stifling cage.

They're doing the sanity stomp
to their own syncopated beat
as their energy rises
to their own maddening heat

Hand in hand, bodies flow
intensity, focuses aware
as mindless rhythm pervades
in this unique solitaire

Madnesses, cadence drives
in hardcore exhilaration
as each and every one
does the manic crystalization

As each comet flames out
in manic depressed
they hit cosmic bottom
and begin to coalesce




A contest entry

Criticize freely, I need input to improve

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • Awww I wouldn't call you odd for that =]

    A very enjoyable write, it flowed well, and was an interesting read =]

    Thank you for entering,
    I wish you the best of luck,
    Claire x


  • Florida Sunshine
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very enjoyable read from start to finish ~ I love the whole flow of the piece.

    Thanks so much for putting the smile on my face, it was my pleasure to read and review your work

    Best of luck to you,
    Florida Sunshine

  • piccola silver member
    August 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • OnceUponAMind silver member
    June 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great write here! I have some family members that are manic... so I can really relate to the rollercoaster of a poem you've puzzled together Loving the title as well!!


  • PurpleAnarch
    June 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering ^_^ the title kills me XD


  • Psycho Jess
    June 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I'm not really sure how to criticise to be honest.. infact I don't think I can. I loved this. There is always room for improvement but I can't point it out since in my eyes this was perfect, every word just seemed so well placed, so carefully thought out and the flow was just amazing. Good luck in the contest!! And once again well done!
    JESS xxx


    • Dark Otter
      June 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you!

      for such an awesome critique. Manic energy and I are old friends. This was a great chance to express that frenzied form of thought. Thank you for checking my work!

1 - 7 of 7