Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Lennie



windy as always -
so hard to tell where from,
where to
    with swirl and twist
with gust and shift

not the wind that tosses
hat and paper
among the monoliths
in which we hide

but the other wind
a ragged wind
felt by only them
          always blowing -
        except for those
  scattered moments
          in the here and there
of wandering lives

  out your window -
            in alley or byway
              in any given corner
          you may see them -
    urban tumbleweeds

as they rest...  or do they rest...
it’s hard to tell whether
the pause is impatient...
or a welcome chance
to regain bearings
and take stock
                        then tumble on -

                                  Wait... Lennie...  Do you remember me?
                                  Let’s go for a bite.  Tell me about your day..

Author notes

prompt: Urban Tumbleweeds


Lennie is a friend of mine.
He was 'best man' at my wedding

A contest entry

please give honest critique (constructive please :))

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • WritingWretch silver member
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Authentic compassion is exhibited in

    this poignent poem that breaks my heart. So many friends lost to the arbitrary winds that blow through our lives. We put out our hands trying to help, to hang on to the person we know, then feel them slip out of our lives. "As they rest or do they rest" (is there any place for them to lie down). I love the way you word this lament for your friend. The end lines make my eyes water and seem to blow across the the page as you tell your friend by way of invitation, I still care about you. Poetry supreme, byond improvement.


  • BluesMan gold member
    August 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    But for the grace of God and bad decisions never made there go you or I thank you for entering my contest.


  • quantumsurveyor
    August 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A compassionate piece that touches the heart. Very nicely done.


  • Rovingone gold member
    June 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The feeling of the cold in the wind on the street, is something no one can understand, till they've been there. You tell an important part of what it is to be in the worst of situations, winter on the street.


  • Cannonsfire
    June 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So much more emotional when the person is someone you know, this has all the feeling of compassion shown by you to this person. Well done. Love, C


  • penman gold member
    June 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Very powerful write for the subject. So well crafted and expressive. Best of luck in the contest

1 - 8 of 8