Cardboard for a mattress, their luggage hauled in carts,
they’re invisible to most who don’t see with their hearts.
Like flotsam washed up on the shore, hidden in the reeds.
Unseen urban tumbleweeds.
They once were the nation’s pride; Soldiers, Dads and Moms.
Now they sit beside the street asking passersby for alms.
They’re tattered sidewalk flowers grown from desperate seeds.
Forgotten urban tumbleweeds.
They’ve lost their way through drugs or drink or simply from neglect.
But each is a part of our family so how can we reject
their cries of pain and pleas to help each one succeed?
Ignored urban tumbleweeds.
Like plastic bags they’re blown around the streets of every town.
When they are acknowledged, it’s usually with a frown.
A smile, a hello, who knows where a little dignity might lead.
Unwanted urban tumbleweeds.
It seems their prayers are never answered. It’s as if God doesn’t care.
But He’s asked us to keep our brothers from starvation and despair.
If we show compassion and try to help fulfill their needs,
perhaps hope will take root in our urban tumbleweeds.
Author notes
I am a part of all that I have met. ~Alfred Lord Tennyson
Urban Tumbleweeds
Prompt: Urban Tumbleweeds
Picture Credit:http://evgin.deviantart.com/art/Evsiz-68180891
Must use prompt in poem
A contest entry
- Phrase Prompt Contest # 1 PIF by BluesMan.
1800 points, ended August 15, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BATTLE OF THE GOLDS by Swan song.
5500 points, ended September 6, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome
Comments
1 - 39 of 39
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opps I already read this one
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Congratulations on winning the GOLD. This was a wonderful and heartfelt poem. The imagery pulls the reader into the sadness of the poem. Excellent write. Take care.
Sandy
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very nice write . . liked all and especially the ending "If we show compassion and try to help fulfill their needs, perhaps hope will take root in our urban tumbleweeds" . . congrats on the gold
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This is a very unusual rhyme scheme but I like it. You captured the essance of what i was looking for thank you for entering my contest
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A thoughtful and pointed story of those less fortunate than ourselves. I like the nicely rhymed and repeated tumbleweed. One point - passerby's should be passersby or passers-by and no apostrophe. (I know...I'm a fusspot)
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Not in the least
Thank you for the correction. The better the grammar and structure, the less distraction to the reader... then the poem can speak in a clearer voice... that's the purpose of poetry, after all.
I appreciate the read and the comment...
Ken
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wow!!!!! ...man...this is amazing...i'm so shocked!!..i believe this is the first time I read one of your poems...i have to read more now.. very impressive write..love it!!..i'll say best luck in the contest..but from the look of this poem..i don't think u'll need it
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Thank you... but don't get your hopes up
I tend to be inconsistent... some are good, some are 
, but all are honest...
Ken
PS Love your avatar! I'm a big animal lover and he's (she?) just too cute
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I often hear people complain about the homeless
about vagrants and even prostitutes They are the dregs
But life is fluid and some people change they get better, they overcome I have seen it.
Thank you for this entry
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I like this Ken. Unseen, forgotten, unwanted, ignored, then you broke from the pattern with an optimist's hope. I like upturned endings. Very nice overall.
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This is great.
I loved the sincerity and rawness to it, yet the beauty.
The metaphors in some lines were just stunning.
"They’re tattered sidewalk flowers grown from desperate seeds.
Forgotten urban tumbleweeds."
That was stunning.
This is very well written. (:
Great job! <3 -
Really stunning and awe so true. Congrats on the SPOTLIGHT!!!
Becks
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This is a very true poem....I love it 'But each is a part of our family so how can we reject' so very true but you see so many people today not caring enough to just give them enough money for a few meals....It happens so often today.
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'It seems their prayers are never answered. It’s as if God doesn’t care.
But He’s asked us to keep our brothers from starvation and despair.
If we show compassion and try to help fulfill their needs,
perhaps hope will take root in our urban tumbleweeds.'
What a very compassionate and sensitive reflection of the underbelly of society Ken. I do like the tumbleweed metaphor and the repetition which drives it home, weeds grow where neglect flourishes and as you point out, they are as much our responsibility as any family we belong to. Too often people say 'doesn't God care?' but we were given the consciousness and awareness to do just that and God is waiting for us to honour this responsility to each other.
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Agreat poem with wonderful sentiments expressed. We, collectively, should, at the very least, try to help out where we can.
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It made me think about the matter. Thanks.
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You, again, have outdone yourself. This is deep and wonderfully written and so touching. I agree with the other comment, it does deserve gold!!
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This is a well written and heart touching poem. I often see similar situations and feel pain for them too. You really say somethings we want to say in a so powerful way. thanks, wish you win the gold!
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This is so touching Ken! So many of us feel helpless and therefore turn a blind eye to this sort of thing, but the reality is it is there and it won't go away!
You know.. I always love the things you put in your author's notes.. and that quote is so true..
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profound
great connection of idea and imagery, nice cycle -
Thats amazing, and so true. So many people walk right by them without a second thought, and youre right even though they may be in the situation theyre in due to their own fault, theyre still apart of a family that should help them. Its a very good piece of work.
-Robii -
I like this poem. I think it's very good. The metaphors you use are very apt. The rhyme scheme is interesting and I like it. The first two stanzas were excellent. The third lines of the third and fourth stanzas seemed to have an awkward cadence. I think the fifth was okay, but not on a par with the first two (though I don't think it ever seems as if God doesn't care.) A very good poem, I think.
Still Anonymous -
Amazing!
It makes you wonder what put them there in the first place, though. I do agree they need help but... There are some situations where I think they deserve it. But anyway, very good poem and great use of your prompt! You stress your point throughout the whole piece and its definitely something I'll remember. Awesome write.
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Powerful
Very powerful, thought evoking write...wonderful of you to share this with the community here...thank you for it and once again wonderful write...
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Music To The Heart
Great poem that breaks my heart.
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Outstaning
Wow, how ironic that I found this one, because I've started work on one today, that is so simualar this. You did a wonderful thing in placing this one together with such power and emotions that made the story telling a pleasure to read. Image and Visions
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i have seen several writes today that address this same topic. as the others, you have amazed me with your words and thoughts. thank you for sharing this with me today. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. i wish you the best of luck in this contest that you have entered. viyanna rosemarie
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Excellent societal commentary
I love the imagery of the verse and how your poem fits the picture. But since you welcome a critical comment...Shouldn't "succeed" and "lead" have an 's' on them?
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To be a perfect rhyme, they should... but then it wouldn't make sense... a close rhyme still carries the poem's flow while still keeping the grammer correct... Hey, nobody's perfect
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Good job.
You chose a great title to match, and a picture too. I love how you compared them to many things people don't pay attention to.
Again I say, good job -
Beautifully moving Ken, well done. 'Tattered sidewalk flowers' is a stunning description.
A big heart wrote this one.
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Thank you... I don't think the poems that good but I love the title!
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If I could check a box that gave you 100 clappy things.....I would check it. I have read almost all of your poetry, Ken... but I need to tell you that this one moved me more than anythinhg you have ever written. I know you don't just write these things, you help those in this situation. You would never sing your own praises, so I will do it for you.
Thank you for your amazing good heart.
Cheryl
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These entries make me cry. Your words are hard hitting and deep my friend. Wonderfully expressed to the prompt with your usual amazing talent.
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Excellent
A very descriptive and hard hitting poem on this subject. So very well expressed. Best of luck in the contest.
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very well done !!! I love the format too.
this part really says it:
'It seems their prayers are never answered. It’s as if God doesn’t care.
But He’s asked us to keep our brothers from starvation and despair.
If we show compassion and offer help to fulfill their needs,
perhaps hope will take root in our urban tumbleweeds.
'
Thanks
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love it. you NAILED the picture
completely fabulous! and with such pearls of wisdom
bravo ken!
and best of luck in the contest
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Wow! You've got it Kay. No one could describe it better or with more meaningful phrase.
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Thank you for kind comment... It pales in comparison to yours but we can only write what we feel...
Ken
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