deplorable false pretenses beckon
soul crunching curious eyes
to follow you past golden gates
claiming your Eden
cremating your sacrosanctity into immutable offal
uncomfortably reminding you
that you can be nothing more
than a cliche ridden bourgeois
past reminders baste your conscience
torpidly dulling your world
until there's only the failing of the eye
a sycophant homicide will not win
against the all consuming
sweetness of bitter emotions
where carnal proxy is a synonym
in the playground of travestied dreams
the clock ticks away
citing you will be forgotten
as you fade into murky waters
and sometime soon I will be able
to acknowledge my flaws
in my diary
Author notes
This was challenging. My titles...are...diverse. lol
I was told by a friend to enter your contest. So I did. lol Logical, no?
Ever present,
Yink
A contest entry
- Previous works? Make em new. by Electric Sunrise.
380 points, ended June 25, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Why don't you ask me a question?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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...What to say? I honestly think that this is one of the best I've read in a while; you have a fabulous vocabulary, the imagery is brilliant, and everything is spot-on. Well done, and congratulations on your shiny gold!
Laura, aka Immortal
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Thanks.
I enjoyed creating this one. 
Yink
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alright, i love the title first off,
but i think the titles in quotations
threw off the tone of the piece and
broke up the flow. it made it seems
as though the words weren't yours and
they were...a p a r t of the piece!
otherwise, the storyline was rather...
contemporary. -
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It's what the contest asked me to do but now that it's over...hmmm....Thanks for your comment!:
Yink
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So this is the contest?
Anyway, you've done a great job with the titles. Congrats on the Gold.
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lol This is the contest you told me to enter silly.
And I won gold.
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Right ...
that's what I thought. I thought the host was honest, and you'd have a decent chance. It appears I was right about that.
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Whoa. Amazing! Well worthy of a gold trophy! You has some tough titles to put in place, and you did so magnificantly.
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You know, when i first looked at this piece i went
there's a lot of deep imagery here.
When i second looked at it, i thought to myself, thats one powerful piece aided by some deep imagery.
The entire concept, idea, piece as a whole is fantastic, a very very enjoyable read and thought provoking too.
Thanks for the entry and best of luck in the contest
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Thanks! If you host any more contests give me a ring.
or a nudge or slap...whatever expresses you best.
Yink
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Great use of your titles (creative titles at that). I rather enjoyed the imagery and was assorbed the entire trip.
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Because you loved me.
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someone has to
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