Night time opens doors to other worlds behind ours...
Softly, gently creatures from the dark appear and flutter by
The moth a tender beautiful night time butterfly
She flies beside the fairies with their gossamer wings
And beside the pixies and the forest nymphs
She continues through a magical night
Lets follow her on her moth flight
Songs that break the silence whisper in her way
One by one the fairies choose their instruments to play
Gentle sighs and breezes tickling her senses
She's floating fluttering through all night times dimensions
Little moth continues through the trees and leafy night
She's guided along only by the sparkling moonlight
The music that the night time brings
Carries her upon swift wings
To places that the mind can only concieve in dreams
And with no concept of what it means
She floats through the dreaming world at night
She continues with her never ending flight
Till at last the dawn breaks on the horizon
She sees the light of the sun arising
She finds her place to sleep the day away
With memories of the faires and pixies at play
Her dreams filled with dreams of sparkling night
Till once again she begins her nightly moth flight
A contest entry
- Winklings Celebrates its 100th Contest (A Series) - Contest J by Lyndon.
3500 points, ended August 5, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
A journey upon dark wings...
this ties into the theme as it conveys the night
through eyes of flight. I do have a couple of
minor suggestions:
conceive is misspelled...small edit there
"She" is used so frequently, it starts distracting
me in the read.
This line:
"Her dreams filled with dreams of sparkling night"
could be made better with a slight edit that replaces one of the 'dreams' with something else. It just
doesn't flow or convey very much with the double use.
The subject chosen is wonderful. I feel moths are
overlooked (compared to butterflies), and there are
many that are just as beautiful. Personification is
always an appreciated element in poetry for me. Blue
-
This is a beautiful write.I am not a lover of moths and yet you make them appear as beautiful as the Butterly.Well done and good luck, Ros
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