Clouds soaked in tears dry.
We forget rainbows have eight colors;
now, black peacocks cry.
A contest entry
- ~Monsoon~ by Lavender Butterfly.
400 points, ended June 20, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I hope you will forgive my 'cheek'
Tear-soaked clouds
leave my face dry,
eight colours of rainbow
now, black peacocks cry.
Couldn't resist... take or leave.
Sol -
'now, black peacocks cry.'
This is the line for me... it's no less than a 'scorcher' I love it!
It's that good that I'm afraid the other two are dismissed by it, as far as I'm concerned. I believe you should use this line again amongst more worthy accompanying ones... I wish I'd come up with it!
Sol
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vivid !
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intriguing and deep with meaning... x
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