On one - "His love he did not show".
Nearby - "Though loved, she did not know"
Author notes
unrequited love
A contest entry
- quote by Lavender Butterfly.
400 points, ended June 20, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 5-15 Words: Blow Me Away by xxRainbowDawnxx.
600 points, ended January 2, 96 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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such a shame to have such a wonderful gift of love and not know how to give or receive it...such a sad little piece, but sadly true that it happens to a lot of people...we should always make sure that the people we love know how much we love them and we show it as well...hopefully your piece gets others to do that and actually be more outright with their feelings
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Awww this makes me want to cry, a bit for the love and a bit for the sadness and together, creates many tears. Beautifully wrote.
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two lines... intense feeling. You described so much in just 2 lines it was amazing. A story can be told behind those words. Great job.
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actually, have you heard of the song "Whiskey Lullaby" - it reminds me a lot of this!
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Hi. Thanks for your complimentry comment. I haven't heard "whiskey Lullaby" - whose piece is it? jimmy
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Hiya,
It's sung by Brad Paisley. These are the lyrics;
She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night
1st Chorus
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby
(Sing lullaby)
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night
2nd Chorus
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby
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Wow, I do like it. I have to confess to not knowing Brad Paisley - I'll search him out - for which, many thanks, mate. Cheers, jimmy
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Short but so intricately clever!
Wow!
This was just ... to the point and ... amazing.
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I like this. Short and understandable! ***Pam***
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hmmm two short needs some work in my opinion
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So sad and deeply gripping... x
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Very sad but very good my friend. Very powerful for 2 short lines. I really enjoyed it. Good luck in the contest.
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Great work Jimmy
The saddest words, It might have been. This was just great.
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A poignantly tragic idea, of course they may have died 200 years apart for all we know, but makes me smile
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