Love and sex, though intrinsically linked are not equal.
In most cases it’s simply a matter of how much value does one place on their union. For in marriage or any intimate relationship one without the other is like building a brick wall without mortar. It may have form and function but it’s not necessarily stable.
Of course, I’m speaking from personal experience as a man whose 30+ year marriage crumbled when love minus sex/passion was not strong enough to hold it together. Granted, it takes many factors to build a lasting relationship but that relationship can only be as good as its constituent parts and in this case… one bad apple did spoil the whole damn barrel.
Life and love are fickle partners… constantly changing and demanding. In nature, the strong adapt and survive. The weak die lonely.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Wow you really put it all on the line there. Well I hope being in love with you things will alwats stay good. It was a pleasure to read.
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Excellent
Ah, 'tis a fine write, indeed. I can appreciate your viewpoint, however, for me I've always preferred to remain single. Again, very well done.
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How sad!
30 years... along time my friend, for a marriage to end. I on the other side it took 30 years for me to get married for it to end within 2. Then I promptly got married again. Hope it lasts this time! Here's commiserating with you.
Jennifer
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Love and sex are not intrinsically linked at all. Sex can be used as an expression of love upon occasion but is never linked to love in any form. This is the first fatal prepetuated lie that graduate successful from one generation to the next.
And at best, it's base function, is the continuation of the species. A necessary thing. And the sexual drive is the evolutionary tool created by testerone and hormones to assure its use.
HOWEVER, we are thinking creatures. So we ARE capable over over riding these impluses and recognizing them for what they are.
It's just a shame that few people use anything above the ears. This is particularly true of the males and their control of the urges produced by testorone. Who find it more appropriate to elevate to humor and signs of masculinity, than something to not let get the best of ones self.
In regards to marriage, the tone set, is everything. And communication, and needs met, are vital.
Your essay is lacking substance and exploration of thought. I would suggest an expansion. -
What you have said is valid and strong.
In my line of work, I have seen it all. I worked with an elderly population for several years and the differences in couples and how they reacted when faced with trials (health, financial and family crisis as well as simply aging) have amazed me. There were those couples so devoted to each other that nothing ever separated them in mind or devotion, and those that separated and divorced at the most minor of things.
Of course, I'm not addressing your situation, I have no inside knowledge, but over time people change
and grow, become better acquainted with themselves. That alone can be an eye opener and the beginning of the end.
Often, it's not the things said in anger or the heat of passion, it's the statements made in an ordinary day in unguarded moments that can be the most revealing.
Thanks for sharing.
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Ok well this explains the other poem lol...had it happen to me too, a 20year marriage fall apart, but in the amazing outcome of 'shit what do I do next!' I discovered me again and quite liked it. So in all bad there is a modicum of a good outcome
Love, C
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In-ter-resting!
... Men are from Mars and women from Venus and communication plays a major role in any relationship be it platonic or otherwise ... Values have been disrupted by the media (as to what's beautiful!) and society has loosened or tightened accordingly. Your essay touched on many good points and the last two sentences were a good wrap-up! I shall applaud you for addressing a subject that needs lots of honesty and attention! joy
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