She mourns
a moonless night
bereft of lover's starlit wonder
gathers rip tide's
wilder dreams in symphonies
born of thunder.
Folded round the quaking breast,
wings stay the storm,
assemble
raindrop ache,
and timpani, welled
in blue-black tremble.
A contest entry
- Fun!! by Poemdancer.
800 points, ended August 10, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Wonderful write, I didn[t really like the really short lines, as they seemed to break up the flow of the poem. My favorite line was 'wings stay the storm' very smooth imagery and a grand picture comes to mind at those words, great write!! Thank you for entering my contest!
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A Blessing
This is a blessing just awaiting to be bestowed.
Joe
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Thank you, Joe for the gentle words. ...and for blessings, I am grateful!
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This is blissfully beautiful in its dealings with feelings, my Friend. The oceans of emotions I surfed were wonderful
I have a close Friend who has been on my mind a lot lately, and this Poem brought home the strength and length of her endurance and performance under stress, she is definitely blessed ...and you are definitely a klassy lassie, ~K
Sighhh's!
~ Nicky♥
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You know, I love seeing that little book. It probably hasn't a gold leaf left in it from being so well-loved. But if I pay close attention, there are soul-prints all over it and ancient melodies of heart-speak!
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The first stanza sets the mood quite well, what comes after is but a treasure for the eyes, karen, what a wonderful rendering, quite a visual piece for me, bravo dear
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Very emotional piece. I like the way your words show action. rip tides, born of thunder. Others are origonal in the way they portray a message,
raindrop ache, blue-black tremble.
Painful and sad. It's a very compelling write.
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Hello, and thank you for looking in... I'll look forward to finding your page and poetry, too!
~K
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it looked beautiful to see stormy winds with wings. imaginative piece... I saw and I was able to see beauty.
Thanks for this.
blessed be
Blanche
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Here's what I like...you've taken this poem of emotional turmoil, cloaked it in a thunder storm, in a process that one could even say is actually a personification of a storm. Yet its symbolism is facile enough to apply to the reader who absorbs those emotions that you write, and identifies.
But those feelings, that flow in a myriad of directions, for though it's sad, there more, a depth, a diffusion, shades of gray, blue, black...this sadness isn't one color.
Yeah, I see a storm here, read each stanza, it's a process, that of a storm occurring.
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EXQUISITE !
Wow, Sis, this is simply exquisite, the visuals drawing in the reader, the subtle rhythm flowing from beginning to end. . . I am at a loss for words to describe this exceptionally wonderful poem you have woven with mystical golden threads. What a feat worthy of GOLD, and I hope that is what it earns in the end; but, then, I don't see that it is in a contest. . . where it ought to be.
Much love and hugs, SisBon
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totally done ... one of the best i've read around here for awhile ... agree with chez, not only that but the last line whips a vibrating tampani head into the readers mind ...
its better than most of mine ... and technically perfect
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... i might as well just go fly a kite or something
kudos to ya ... lots of em
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Thank you for the kudos, but I would never compare my poetry to yours, Danni. I find kites rather joyful, but one has to be able to run with them.
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Beautiful
Your images are abstract. Grief and consolation live in the dark; your verses show strength and love together - tenderness in turmoil. Lovely!
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pleasingly sad
Its very emotiomially paced in a slow rhythmical mood, very relective on my present state and feelings well done, lady
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Beautifully written with the pen dipped in the ink of love and compassion - and of course your own light, my friend. It is the arms of friends that help us through troubled times of the heart....I know and I know your heart too.
~ Nicolette
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"in
symphonies
born of thunder."..love this line..
a very beautiful poem, you have captured such a loud inner sadness here, I feel
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I like how the Angel behaves gently and yet has the strength to stay the storm. I like the feelings created in this one. From the anger and grief of loss to the welling of the pain and tenderness with the rain that washes theheart. Beautiful
Love, Tom B.
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For green eyes and sunlight...
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black dress, cocktail hour poetry. so precise, sleek and so beautifully attired.
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A lovely compliment, Steve.... Thank you.
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unique in style and design. Great depiction
Joe
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Thank you for sharing...
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Internal rhymed free verse, very impressive dear lady and beautiful and soft as you always do. Love, C
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Love to you, Chez! Thank you.
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A delicately and beautifully composed piece of poetry, Karen, and an absolute pleasure to read.
Bill
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Thank you...your comments always make me smile.
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