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Memories Crystallize

 

 

Upon dawn's drowning

a mind's murky recollection

suffocates my serenity

 

Stitched eyelashes spawn

paranoia in moments

that trickle closed terror

 

Pray pry these eyes open

to sparkle brighter

beyond cries crystallized

 

Ignite hope upon feathers

I covet in freedom's flight,

released from wisdom's wings

 

And I shall soar further

than past worth deemed,

and uninhibited...

         ... dawn a new day

 

 

 

Author notes

Options used:
1) (picture)
3) (wordbank: ignite, sparkle, suffocate, stitches, spawn, trickle)
4) Title
30-60 words (59)

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Sailor Ptolema silver member
    June 28

    Edit | Reply
    oh i LOVE This!
    a divine write, your poem is even better than the picture!!!
    seriously!
    excellent!
    I LOVED:"Stitched eyelashes spawn
    paranoia in moments
    that trickle closed terror">>>wow....I'm speechless!!


    ~Sailor Ptolema ....i just like that icon


  • Valley Girl silver member
    June 27

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful! Congratulations on the well deserved Gold! Fantastic wording! ♥


  • poppa silver member
    June 26
    Edit | Reply
    congrats on the gold...truly a great piece ..


  • Mark McNulty
    June 23

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the gold and on this excellent write. The prompt is great... an awesome pic to work with. And your poem matched it so nicely with great imagery and feeling. Very well done, Jakcs.

  • aboomer silver member
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I can see why this took the Gold!! Congrats! I loved all of this, but especially,
    'And I shall soar further
    than past worth deemed,
    and uninhibited...
    ... dawn a new day'
    Well done!!


  • LadyDementia gold member
    June 20

    Edit | Reply

    Congrats on the gold!!

    Wow hunni, that was deeply dark my muse been seeing your muse? Hehe, a delicious write, congrats on the gold


  • AliceinPoetryLand Moderators member
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is just awesome hun! So well deserving of the gold! CongratulationsI loved this stanza 'Stitched eyelashes spawn
    paranoia in moments
    that trickle closed terror' and how the piece moves from a very dark piece to one full of freedom and hope!
    Wonderfully penned
    gaylene



  • mysticstorm gold member
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    How beautiful sis...what a lovely write so deeply written with such creativity...how brillant you are and how creative...you managed to write such a wonderful write with three prompt choices in one...excellent work...so glad to see it in Gold...
    Love,
    sis


  • markgrif gold member
    June 20
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats for gold for this beauty of a poem!


  • Grey Mouser
    June 19

    Edit | Reply
    Extreme! Great tale woven of the "3" prompts chosen... (one was tough enough for me LOL).. Great imagery and metaphor that flows the length of the write. Best to you.
    Mouser


  • delightfulmess gold member
    June 19

    Edit | Reply
    Hey no fair. Who said you could pic not 2 but 3 prompts Showoff Just kidding.

    Your amazing
    Best of luck in the contest.


    Delila


  • notorious silver member
    June 19

    Edit | Reply
    Ahaha, using all the options is always fun.
    There's so much alliteration and possessive forms in unique ways..it's awesome.

    "dawn's drowning"
    Damn you and your poetic ability!!

    "Stitched eyelashes spawn
    paranoia in moments
    that trickle closed terror"
    Oh my God...my favorite stanza. 'Stitched eyelashes' is plain genius, and paranoia is a wonderful word (but not a wonderful state of mind).

    Great use of the prompts...good luck, you should totally win something!


  • jcat gold member
    June 19
    Edit | Reply
    Well I agree with WELTT so there is nothing more needs be said! You truly are a poetic genious!


  • solo wisp gold member
    June 19

    Edit | Reply
    woooooo! Me likes this one too ... a defining image in your words, yes. Gives life to thoughts ... beautifully written My Queen.


  • Weltt silver member
    June 19

    Edit | Reply
    This is simply stunning.....I don't even know what else to say. The beauty of your poetic mind is amazing...well drawn here. Thank you for entering


  • PerfectImperfection
    June 19

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow!!! Honey you blew me away!!! Such an incredible take on the prompt! Very well woven imagery throughout. Your style is becoming even more and more amazing (somehow)! Excellent write!


  • Griswold silver member
    June 19

    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely done. 3 options used well in this poem. Not one intentional rhyme in it either. Good luck to you... Scott


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    June 19

    Edit | Reply
    thats it a spanking for you young lady.


    Great job as always

  • PassionsPromise gold member
    June 19
    Edit | Reply
    Hey sexy shoot damn you know you have it licked easy or hard....well damn that didnt come out right...
    You rock girl

    Much love
    Passions

1 - 21 of 21