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Seaside Holiday In France 1950

Once more along the beach dear friends.
Once more scoop the fish up
with your fishing nets.
But watch out for the old beach mines
or you, for certain, will end up dead.
Then, as your blood stains the shallows,
and the seagulls come to peck out
your once lustrous eyes,
we'll pile your remains with some driftwood
and sign you: 'one of the English dead'.

Author notes

Shakespeare 1599 - 'Henry V Act 3'.

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Comments


  • Edna Sweetlove
    July 6, 2008

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    About as Shakespearian as my cat's vomit. Also, hugely unamusing. But congratulations on your honourable mention, you must be as surprised as I am!


  • Avatar of Innocence
    July 3, 2008
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    Starting Line: hmm, not sure what to make of this. Seems very bland, but I don't know if there is a message here I'm not aware of.

    Line 5: "for certain"? Is that Shakespearian? If so, please leave it as it. If not, may I recommend "certainly"?

    Last line has quite an impact, though the rest of the poem could not follow its lead of greatness.


    • Shenton silver member
      July 4, 2008
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      'Once more along the beach dear friends.' is a play on the much plagiarised:
      "Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more, or close the wall up with our English dead". Spoken by Henry V in his speech "Cry God for Harry, England and Saint George..."
      In Shakespeare's Henry V (Act 3 -1599)

      Thankyou for reading, commenting and for your applause.

      Best wishes from 'down-under.

      Shenton

  • Nicole Hanna
    July 3, 2008

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    This doesn't exactly remind me of Shakespeare, but I'm no expert on the man or his poetry, so eh... I suppose whether or not you "stole" his style well isn't really the point. More to the point, the title is captivating. I always enjoy titles that have me really contemplating a moment or specific time, verses something more generalized. The last two lines were wonderful and expressive. I enjoyed it.