Shots fired, lives taken,
and for what?
a title, a territory,
innocent lives being taken on the streets,
i honestly thought that would never be me,
me, behind the gun, with the knife,
me being the one to take a precious life,
i thought it was lame and stupid and dumb,
now i look and the mirror and see i've become,
just as bad as them,
walking the streets,
striking fear,causing chaos,
not caring who dies,who gets hurt,or who cries,
two little girls on the street,
playing hopscotch,so innocent so sweet,
a bullet was fired,not meant for her heart,
but it wasnt the end it was only the start,
a gun in my hand knife in my pocket,
in the little girls hand was her little heart locket,
i opened it up and saw her parents,
but the damage was done,
and i was the one,
who caused the family to be torn apart, broken up,
sent into a dark hole never to find peace in knowing
who did this to their sweet little girl,
but it didnt end there....
two weeks later another gang fight,from 12 o clock noon,
to 6 thirty at night,
a mother with bags,from the grocery store,
she screamed and she fell,
her life was no more,
she had 4 kids her husband was dead,
but that cant compete with the things that i did and what i said,
"Leave her, she doesn't matter"
but when i saw that she wasnt quite dead,
i saw that if it wasnt finished it truly would matter,
now left on that sidewalk,is a memory and
the stain of brain splatter....
Author notes
"gummy bears will soon take over the world"
A contest entry
- Blah Blah Blah by Missa.
330 points, ended July 3, 2008, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All walks of life by SilverWolf.
335 points, ended July 9, 2008, 41 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For my favs by crazymomma.
410 points, ended July 15, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry, Poetry and PreWrites! by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1200 points, ended September 13, 2008, 340 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
-
i love it well done!! keep on writing miranda
*clappy
-
Well done. I get uncomfortable talking about how I relate to shit like this so I won't. Very well written.
-
This made me cringe when I read it. The imagery was very vivid and raw. The emotion was quite powerful and it is well written. I actually cried a little. Thanks for entering
-
Hehehe... I love the sheer cruidity of this
but on poetic merit would have waned...
-
wow...........
im speechless... this is a really great poem!! it deserved the silver medal!!!
-
Wow, this was absolutely amazing. The imagery is magnificent, you captured it all so well. It's so tragic and full of emotion. Goodluck in the contests.
xox -
-
hey thanks!
-
-
hi this is meeeeeeeee
-
WOW! This is really good! Good job!
-
I'm sorry, but this is too long for my contest. I stated in my rules that it had to be under 35 lines. but since it is a good poem and you actually put the quote in the authors notes...i'll let it slide, THIS TIME!!!
-
Great read
wow this is wonderfully dark and really well written well done
-
Wow, it was great, I like the flow of it, good job.
-
experience..i see shit like this all the time...
-
This was a really deep poem. It makes you think!
-
this write has it all - violence, pain, imagery, emotion, the struggle between life and death
very well penned. i like it
-
COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
-
O M G
Wow Savikins this is ur best write yet... I love it!
-
wow!
i found a few mistake a i noticed that it would totally sound bett er with the word what in between i've become. but other than that! good job
-
O.O
im gonna have a nightmare tonight now with brain splatters in it
takin the story from the view of the ganger really made it powerful an the whole girl with the heart an the locket tied to it made me teary
very effective use of title first/last line
The infamous life of a gangster
Shots fired
the stain of brain splatter
Awesome work!
-
*applauds*
nice!
(it's spelt 'quite' not 'quit' btw)
-
sad stuff like this happens everyday n everywhere, it's some story, I feel sorry for u that u have to deal with it everyday
-
whoa..
This is very well written
and i like it :]
xxx..<3..
Shelly -
wow the story itself was.. breath taking.. and well.. whoa
Adding your comment:
1 - 23 of 23
