“The river changes everything”

“The river changes everything”

Here I sit today, so distant from when we first met
I feel as if I am a completely different person then the one you once knew
I am miles and miles away from everything I once held dear.
I’ve given up so many thoughts, and taken on so many more

My hair has grown, the dye faded out long ago
Many piercing have come and gone
I’ve tattooed lessons on me that I hope I won’t forget

I have loved and lost, lusted and lost
I’ve taken that once sentimental and glowing heart and watched it turn jaded and dim

I’ve entered realities that existed only to me
          I fought like hell to escape them
                                          And felt the urge to return to them forever

I’ve found more wisdom in Burroughs and Kerouac then in any religious text
I hated god
Then I knew there was no god, not of any kind
Then I loved god
I felt a presence I can’t comprehend, and frightens me to the core of my beliefs

I can’t help but wonder what has happened to you since we last conversed so long ago
Is your heart too still in a million pieces?
Shattered by someone that wasn’t worthy to hold it in the first place

Do your once closest friends now offer nothing but disappointment?
Does their inability to grow remind you of how hollow you once were?
Do their carefree attitudes and ambitionless lives make you want to return to a shallow existence?

Has this world turned lifted your idealism up to a shining star for you
      Only so it can burn away in one last dramatic scene
Have you been cradled in the arms of hope and faith, made to feel Warm and Safe
      Only to realize that the tightening grip was slowly suffocating your soul




Tonight though, none of this really matters
Your arm wrapped around my waist
          with mine across your shoulders
                  makes me forget the impermanence of embrace
The full moon lights up our faces just enough to make out a smile
        While foggy windows hide our insecurities

This may be the beginning of something long and engaging
This may be you just looking for a little fun
This may be me taking advantage of a long standing crush
I am not sure, and presently I don’t mind
All I know is now we are both different
    Things are not like they once were
              And that feels nice