When my world would turn to gray
I'd always find you standing there.
With a smile that always seemed to say,
"Do not fret,there is nothing to fear"
And on those days when I couldn't
The days where I simply wouldn't
Find myself able to laugh or smile
You'd make me happy for a while
Like a shelter that kept it's doors open.
You sustained me through my days of mourning.
I was just a beggar that kept on hoping
To make it through to the morning.
And on those days when I couldn't
The days where I simply wouldn't
Find myself able to laugh or smile
You'd make me happy for a while
When the news came that you were ailing
That your doors were broken and closed
I felt as if my own heart were failing.
As more days of grieving had enclosed.
Yet I found myself comforting others
Finding the same joy in it as you
Knowing some day we'd find each other
And I'd be able to shelter you too
A contest entry
- The Refuge of Poetry in Times of Great Sorrow by FunnelWaxFate.
700 points, ended July 28, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Wow, quite an affecting write…very well done. Has a great harmony and excellent flow. Definitely creates a vivid scene of emotion in the mind and heart. I especially loved the lines, “Like a shelter that kept it's doors open./You sustained me through my days of mourning./I was just a beggar that kept on hoping/To make it through to the morning.” Those seemed to grip me the most, very sorrowfully familiar. Then, that second to last stanza really got to me, devastating. Then the last stanza was quite perfect, a very inspirational jolt. The fact that, despite the loss, the speaker was able to hold onto the strength and stronghold the lost one had instilled and inspired, and continued on with it, sharing it, becoming a sanctuary for others, just as the lost one had done…as though, in my opinion, I felt, the lost one sort of lived on in the speaker, and never truly left in full, that a part lived on…and then the last two lines were very peaceful and comforting. Yes, quite a splendid write. Well done!!!
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