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Barbe`'s Dairy

Oh how I loved him
for so many years
from first to eighth grade;
wrought with many fears.

Was my nose too-big
are my hips too wide...
I never could say,
so I would just hide.

He drew a picture
of my too-big nose,
thought it was pretty;
not knowing I pose.

At Barbe`'s Dairy
in the second grade
he was the farmer
and I was the maid.

In eighth grade we dance
and he is so shy.
Oh! how can I win 
this wonderful guy?

Then one day I called
just out of the blue.
"Will you you be my date...
I'd love to take you."

I'm busy you see
there's this other girl...
The room spins around,
my head starts to whirl.

So I carry the torch
of childish romance
and go by myself
to my high school dance.

.





Author notes

I just wrote this about my first love. It's a true story.

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Raining Kisses silver member
    February 17
    Edit | Reply
    aw this is really sweet thanks for the entry


  • Blind Sight
    February 11
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I love this poem. It's very strong. Thanks for entering.


  • Cerbie20
    August 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    yeah, we all have those times when we love this guy, and then another girl gets in the way. i know the feeling well. lol. really well... it seems to happen to me a lot. and im sorry that this happened to you. its kinda sad, because i know how it feels to be turned down and then to go to the school dance by yourself. it sucks! good job!


  • SingPraiz4Hym
    July 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm thinking you are meaning 'diary' not dairy here. Oh to first love and how heart breaking it can be. I liked how you took it through the years and how it became a bit unrequited. Thanks for entering. Good luck.


  • Nicada silver member
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh..this is sad and something that most of us probably experienced growing up. Those first crushes are always so powerful, and they can really knock us down when we are rejected. You did a nice job on this write. Blessings, Patty

  • Tefnut
    July 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I did enjoy reading this, thank you for entering my contest.


  • thepoetsings
    July 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A few quick editorials:

    - line 3. I think it's a typo? - should be "eighth"
    - line 10. Hyphenate "too-big"
    - Just a personal preference, but you might consider replacing a few of the commas with other punctuation; I just think it would help out the clarity and flow of the piece.

    I'll be back later with more commentary about your poem (when judging). Thanks for your entry


  • Jake420
    July 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is an awesome write. Its very deep and really serious. I liked it alot.


  • Juicy904
    July 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is so cute! i think this has happenned to every girl lol


  • l33t-n1nj4
    July 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very nice
    chidlike and beautiful all at once
    sweet and peaceful and even a bit heart breaking
    i love it, i get it
    good job&good luck


  • leo2
    June 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh how sweet! I guess I was just one of the lucky ones. The first girl I asked said, "yes". And we got married six months later. Of course I had to marry and divorce her twice but that's another story entirely. Good luck in the contest.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long

  • pruedence
    June 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It is so nice to remember memories from our childhood, this carries a sense of innocense with each word. Well done, thanks for sharing


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    June 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I can relate to this very well. I think we all have at some point carried a torch for "the one who got away".


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    June 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awww! this made me want to reach out and give you a hug. you wrote it very well and i am wishing you the best of luck in this contest that you have entered. viyanna rosemarie


  • Rose Angel gold member
    June 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Quite the tale." So I went alone to the high school dance" Sometimes when we are young we do things that maybe we wouldn't do if we were more adult..Having a boyfriend at first for some can be cramping your style and then to others very dependent on the relationship...They are like twins, always together..Good luck with the contest!


  • KayJay
    June 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice remembrance of youth... and the heartbreak of unrequited love... He's probably bald and fat now, you didn't miss anything ... and you'll always have this bittersweet memory... Well done.
    Ken


  • Brooklynn Tainted gold member
    June 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm well this is an interesting write. I never would have thought it was a true story but it is. Its very sweet and innocent. Childhood love is always somthing to look back on and laugh. Keep up the good writes. ~ Brook


  • BlueEyeWonder1988
    June 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    sorry not a fan of barbie.

    but a good poem for sweet childhood romance.


  • ProudMomma
    June 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    how cute i really love this poem. you did wonderful great imagery its like i was the one that liked the boy good luck in the contest! this is truly an amazing piece keep on penning!


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Just beautiful and touching voice by the soulful poet...well done..my thanks for such a warm entry in my contest...


  • Rovingone gold member
    June 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is touching and sweet. And, that's the way love is supposed to happen I think.

1 - 21 of 21