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Insecure

An insecure place
with an increased taste
of the broken heart
for that one last touch

A body of addiction
too hard to kick
for the taste is my affliction
just one more addiction

A head of a thousand voices
in which all miss-conform 
but all ways what you do
oh how to get through

All the time to wonder
in an insecure place
with a broken heart
longing for one last touch

Author notes

well i havent written in a long time and i thought i would try today and this is what came, im not sure what i think of it. it is a lot different to my other stuff i feel most likely due to the music inspiration at the moment. i have been finding it hard to wrote so go as hard as you want it would be good.
user- ocdpolarbear

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • liduen silver member
    June 25, 2008

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    I love this! This may be different style: but it's a style I really like. *gasp* it IS a mass conspiricy! stanzas ending in H and starting in A!!!! *hides under couch* I seriously like this! Great job!


  • Somebody-New
    June 22, 2008

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    omfg what that user said about the stanzas starting with A and ending with H is creepy as... pretty sure its a massive conspiracy. but, other than that, i really love this write. and i think this new style is working for you very well, you can't tell that you havent written in ages cos this flows so flwalessly and effortlessly, you should be proud this is a great write! kinda an elusive theme behind it though, one of those thats written for you, but can be related to in many different ways i think, so great job! im very proud of you! xoxo


  • ModernXTimes
    June 20, 2008

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    The wording is simple, but powerful. Sure it's not the greatest poem in the entire world, but for someone that hasn't written in a long time, it is very good. Some of the greatest things come out of writer's block. ("People are strange" by the doors was written after jim morrison had writer's block) Just keep exercising that muse, even if there doesn't seem to be anything there. Eventually, something will pop out

    Sincerely,
    ModernXTimes


  • SomeGirlYouKnew
    June 19, 2008

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    this comes together really well. i like that a lot. it flowed well also.
    (wow i just noticed that all the stanzas start with the letter A and end with the letter h. except addictioN in the second stanza but, hey, that n kinda looks enough like an h anyways.)
    anyways. sorry for my random side note.
    well done.


  • Varkatzas
    June 19, 2008
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    I havent written in forever either... been doing heroin for the last year and im finally off that bitch of a mistress. I see this poem as a similar story, and i think it would make an excellent song. the subtleness of wording that still has an edge, brilliance. if i may ask, what were you listening to that inspired a write such as this?


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    June 19, 2008

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    I like it was very well done. I do hope you do well in the contest because this deserves at least a placement. The flow was really good They rhythm was really well done as well. Thank you for sharing this with us


  • IrishGypsyRose silver member
    June 19, 2008
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    I like it. It was a wonderful write. I hope you do well in the contest. ~mandie~

1 - 7 of 7