You tear me inside out
You rip my heart right out
I thought you were the one
I guess you're not the one
What should I do?
You were always more than just a guy
You were my friend, and then boyfriend
But now, three days before our two year anniversary,
It's over
Just like that
You tear me inside out
You rip my heart right out
I thought you were the one
I guess you're not the one
I made some mistakes
And screwed everything up
My fault
I know
But you're anger
And lack of faith in me
Says that it was going to be over soon anyway
You tear me inside out
You rip my heart right out
I thought you were the one
I guess you're not the one
Author notes
My 2 year anniversary was supposed to be Jun. 21, 2008. My boyfriend got home Jun. 13, 2008. Broke up with me June. 18, 2008. Will have to go back to Iraq before much longer, and I know I can't win him back in time.
A contest entry
- round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
HIGHLY PERSONAL be nice
Comments
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IceRainbow
You could have written a poem 'blasting your ex-boyfriend', but you did not. You took to inner assessment. This indicates emotional maturity no matter the situation. The poem leaves me sad, but then the realisation that you too think that the relationship may not work. Your words portray 'inside out' in many ways: yourself, your feelings, his attitude en behaviour; the relationship that has turned; your thoughts, etc. The dates you give in your author's notes are a striking 'addition' to this poem. One suggestion: I would change "Says that it was going to be over soon anyway" to "Says it would have been ober soon" [I'm not an expert, so ignor if you do not agree]. On the whole, a beautiful poem of telling the truth as it is. Take care of yourself.
Frans


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thanks. things are actually beginning to work out again, and he's not going back til August something, I think. Thanks for your comment though.
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