It's dark, cold, she shivers and
little bits of hope rays peek
Through the cracks;
Blue and pink pins are her ornaments
Creak, creak, the monster makes the creaks
And she smells his hairy chest as
the belt buckle scratches her tender face
So she hides in her secret playroom
that God built for her,
then pees in the corner on
a pile of dirty towels.
And the attic stairs are her enemies
~~~when, she was two
They are having a party,
beers all around as
laughter fills the room and they
poke fun at her
Horror keeps good company
with the smoke and bad breath.
They stand her in a corner and laugh~
histerically,
because she's flat chested in her little slip.
They move her with loud cuffahs
to the center of the room, and
Mikey likes her for awhile,
and she has to drink from a bottle
they peed into it and they laugh,
when she was nine
And she's going out on her first date.
Her sister found a nice boy that she thought
was cute,
she talked the folks into letting
the little one go along;
she's so happy to have a friend
and he's really cute.
He says she's pretty and it hurts so much
~but he won't stop and
the blood cakes under her nails
and she cries to her sister```
But~ her sister was busy moaning,
when she was fourteen
It's dark, cold, she shivers and
little bits of hope rays
peek through the cracks of her cardboard box,
it used to be the home for somebodys stove
She's so excited because she found
clean garage rags that she sinned for, and
she makes a soft cushy bed and
a large piece will serve as a blanket.
And the creaks are silent
and the bottles are empty and have disappeared;
No more dried blood anywhere
and she eats garbage pizza,
when she was fifteen
Author notes
AP name: echo-ink
This is a true story of part of my childhood. Option # 8
Prompt: Child Abuse
Pre write # 1 The Happy Box,
Goes with fresh write# 1 "Switch"
A contest entry
- Sad, Sobbing Poems by Shancy Fayre.
500 points, ended June 20, 2008, 21 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anyone? Anyone there [For anyone] by RawrSmileBabyPlz.
450 points, ended June 26, 2008, 36 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abuse, Death, Pain by psychomonkey.
550 points, ended October 29, 146 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write me something by YesterdaysDreams.
700 points, ended February 18, 42 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'll Have To Warn You; This Is Going To Hurt, Really Hurt. by SarahEatsAirplane.
1750 points, ended March 21, 69 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you Think???
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
-
finalist. i'm speechless. great write.
amazing. job.
good luck. -
OMG I cannot condone what happened to you. you are a beautiful person. and though i don't know you I wish you nothing but peace. and love.
-
My first thought on reading this was a story I was once given, called God's boxes. This story as your Happy box made me cry... perhaps if you are intested I will look it up ( I saved it) Thank you for entering this obviously soul shattering write. Good Job and goo luck in the contest.
-
wow, this was an amazing write of such a horrble experience. It was full of pain and anguish. I'm sorry that you had to go through something like that but I believe that the the bad things that happen in our lives make us stronger and at times help mold us into better people That is something I use to help me get through some of my life. well anyways great write
-
I am at a loss for words.
Your poem is powerful and tells a story that nobody would wish on their worst enemy.
I am so sorry that you suffered this way.
Shari
-
I feel sad that this has happened to you...
-
-
Thank You,
-
-
ow sweetie. i am so so sorry, this poem is heart braking. I can really feel you hurt, your pain, your intense emotion. Your words are so powerful and so hard hitting. You wouldnt believe how well i can relate to this. Please read some of my poems, i think you could really relate. I am always here for you hun if you ever need someone to talk to. Thank you so much for entering my contest. I am honoured at your honesty. Thank you again and please remember that i am always here if you ever need to talk x
-
I think the raw emotion erally hit me in this one, espeically as my first impression.
You incorporated many possible bad childhood memories, added them together and came out with a result, a terrible one, at the end with a great spin of personal pain.
I feel like it lacked strong imagery, you could've made more meaningful and visual effects (with the exception of the description of the cardboard box, the happy box). I also felt like you phrasing and wording was bit cliche and could be worked about to make the piece more creative and stand out from other ones.
Something else that I really liked was the optimistic spin to a negative situation. Even though she was living in the box, she still liked it so much more then home.
Good work! -
disturbing
feeling it
~prewrites, come and get them -
Horribly, powerfully sad; well written with details that allow the reader into each scene. This poem breaks my heart and really angers me, because no child should be treated this way. I am so sorry this happened to you.
-
all of your trials, tribulations and pain were only stumbling blocks. Each time you fell you struggled to get back up and found that each fall made you stronger. You are a survivor of life, and a testimony of faith
Blessings,
Sassy
-
a wonderful poem very dark and etched with raw emotions
congratulations on your shinys I know that things like this are hard to write but if we can help stop it happening today through our experiences and wisdom thank you for entering the contest and good luck in the contest
-
Oh dear; the power of imagery in this washed over me so fast I could see the hairy chest, smell the alcohol and see the blood cakes upon body ... an amazing heart breaking piece
♥
Thank You for your entry in Stop Child Abuse - August & Best of Luck
Stay safe
~Manda
Co-Judge
-
-
Thanks,
Yeah, this was not easy to write, because it's all true. Bless you for holding this contest to bring awareness to the horror of child abuse. Bell
-
-
This is incrediably sad, and brought a tear to my eyes. The faith and courage you are displaying in your life after experiancing all of that is beyond inspirational.
Congrats on the silver this one deserves recognition.
We have a common out look on life ~ and it truly is a pleasure to add you as a friend! -
what a powerfully and sad written piece which contains such a darkness within it that is gripping and heart wrenching. your words express what some of us had to deal with and what others still deal with and the imagery within this piece really has a reality mind gripping feel to it, as if it is trying to pry the readers eyes open to take a better look arounhd them. well done and best of luck.
-
this is good. you had nice wording. you made it that the reader can picture what is happing.
nice job! and thank you!
-
Oh honey I am so sorry
I know there are many children today in suc pain in a world od billions so blind to what is about them every dsy .I so wish they could rid this wqorld of the drugs that is killing humanity and causing most of the abuse in this country .Agagin honey I am so sorry and how are you today
-
-
I am all grown up and live in a trailer,
Thank you for your wonderful concern, and yes, the world seems to have gone bezerk. Booze and drugs are indeed culprits, it makes people draw into themselfs and become selfish and they pay attention to only their sick lusts. much love, PL, xx
-
-
OMG! I thought I had a bad childhood. It is so hard to type through the tears in my eyes right now. You have such vivid imagery in this I wanted to reach out and rescue the little girl. My God, I don't see how you could write so well about such painful things. It seems like so much. I am so glad that you are strong and got past the pain.
-
This is so incredibly sad, I cry with you.
Your ~ Best Buddy
Don
-
Awww this is so sad ...amazing write thats all I have to say I'm speechless sorry
-
this was very tragic and emotional.. this poor girl just trying to get along, and at such a young age.. i wish the best for whoever this happened to.. it wasnt a poem as much as a story that needed to be told.. good luck and thanks for your entry.
-
Wow i like this its very well written and very good. thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck... good job. Sorry i am kinda lost for words.
..
Shelly -
Amazing!
This is incredibly sad and painful to read, but I hope that it was healing for you to write it. Congratulations on your silver trophy. Keep writing. -
Congratulations on the silver, a very good poem...Sue
-
This is very sad. It would be better if it didn't read with a lot of run-on sentences. Thanks for entering. Shancy.
-
This is sad mom. Im sorry. "we dont live each day to please ourselves, but to accompany the people we love so much we could give our lives to".Talk to ya later. great write
<3 Redbest
Adding your comment:
1 - 29 of 29
