Dying soul, feeling compromised,
force-fed life through corrosive intravenous.
Dehumanized...
drip
by
drip
as if by divine conception.
Sapphire orbs blinding the soul,
lead into darkness but
emerges into light.
In a world devoid of life
this self-induced euphoria
has become an amorous ritual.
All that is left of life
has become artificial.
In a list
A contest entry
- Darkwrite Extravaganza Season II, Round IV by Immortal Obscurity.
300 points, ended July 1, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Dark Call Has Sounded. Can you take it? by SheWasPreternatural.
1500 points, ended December 30, 2008, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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well done poet
excellent dark write
love this stanza..
Sapphire orbs blinding the soul,
lead into darkness but
emerges into light.
good luck to you
thanks for the share
Darky
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This was a really deep write that you have here. I really enjoyed reading this. thank you for entering and best of luck too you in the contest.
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Intense write, kind of creepy but sad at the same time.
That pic makes me of Samara from The Ring.
69
good number.
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Wow, wonderful dark write!
Very haunting words.
Bravo!!!
♥ Kate
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thank you very much
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now that I got some points thaought you would love some and good luck
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Thank you very much
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very well done It is very good thank you for entering
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wow, what a mind that can create a poem such as this.
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truly masterful! yes! this is what i'm looking for. superb job
"In a world devoid of life
this self-induced euphoria
has become an amorous ritual" - just amazing. good luck in my contest and keep up the excellent work. - T
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So incredibly deep! I love it.
Good luck! -
Congrats on the silver!
Excellent read! Love the picture, goes with your piece so well. A superb piece of darkness. Congrats on the much deserved silver.
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i like the way you drew the picture with your words, but im a little confused as to how divine conception fits with dehumanizing. the last 2 lines are what really sold me on this write. there is so much power and truth in those very few words. great job.
Rob -
WOW........... I really like this one, deep, very deep, good luck inthe contest.
I love you much
Elizabeth
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WOW.. I absolutely love this one.. you did an excellent job with the word bank.. you have quite a gift for dark writes. I have so much to learn.. I used to be able to write them, but gave up and decided to try a different genre.. Now I know why I enjoy writing in this genre as much as reading it.
The picture fits perfectly with your poem.
good luck in the contest
kat
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Thank you very much for the comment and I appreciate the read.
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Wow, you've done an excellent job here. That picture fits perfectly as well... This is going to be super-hard to judge! Well done, and good luck!
Laura
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bravo!
what a completely spellbinding read!
you have taken this picture to another level and made it your own - well done on a superb write!
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brilliance!!! Bellisimo! Magnifique!!
Beautiful work here, and the best of luck in the contest
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wow, such great use of the word back!
this is so dark and chilling...and the picture makes me shudder....
..its so creepy!
very well done, you did superb with the word bank!
also,...I love the word "intravenous"...>>unusual to be sure
best of luck in the contest!!!!!!!
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Thank you very much
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wow, definatly, dark. and really good use of the word bank here.well done on this man, and good luck in the contest.
Grey
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Thank you very much
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This poem is absolutely incredible! What a piece filled with all that poetry should be.... emotional and achingly true! Nice job Pat... Hope you are doing great, as well as your beautiful Mistress
Mel
P.S.
Good Luck! Not that luck is needed here... because you are bound to steal a place in the top three with this write!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Thank you Mel, I don't know why, but I like how this one came out and thank you for the luck...With the competition in this challenge I will be needing it..
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