My pretty doll,
Her head is broken
And her slender neck.
Bandaids won't fix it
Torn rags for bandages
Won't fix it.
I see the hand
Of my brother in this
Or maybe the teeth
Of the dog.
I'm not giving up.
I will put her to bed
Maybe she'll get better
On her own.
Good night, Esmerelda.
Perhaps you will be well
When morning comes.
Author notes
I'm not giving up hope on that doll!
A contest entry
- Dolls and blood and broken dreams by MissStranger.
450 points, ended June 22, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
So, what's your opinion of this?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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How sweet! How sad!
To me a mysterious poem! Great images of a doll, but I wonder if there's something much deeper? Very nice imaginative, inspired poem! I like the construction, flow and rhythm! good job!
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Some time it is impossible to fix things that are broken, no matter how much we love them, there is nothing we can do. In this care, there were better days when the doll was whole; seems it is now not. Easy to read and understand what you have written here. Interesting interpretation of the picture prompt for this contest.
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Ah! how sweet!
A cute poem for children to relate to.
thanks fro sharing.
Regards,
DeGraw
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I like it alot...
...but I use my imagination. This poem prompted me to think and that is a sign of a good poem. I saw the broken doll as a life, destroyed by something. Who? My brother in society, the dog of my government. And now I put it to sleep [like a possible recession] and wait. Is that some sort of "I don't care"...blow you attitude, or a faith in tomorrow and an optimism.
So, I got a lot from the poem, which I found well written and enjoyable. I get this even if it is unintended. Food for thought. Great. Fair dinkum stuff. Please write more!
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Hope this is not, in fact, too simple for the reading list.
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hmmmm....I must say that this is a too childish approaching of the picture
but all in all, you've done pretty well!what I was actually trying to do is challange you to see behind that cute little face and not describe me litteraly what you see...the structure of this poem is too simple and has no particular effect whatsoever...thank you for entering and good luck!don't forget to let your creativity go beyond primar limits!keep it up!
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LOL ^.^
I see the hand
Of my brother in this
LOL mine was the inspiration for my doll poem to LOL why do they hafta pick on our dolls >.< one time mine took all the heads off my dolls an put there decapilated bodies on my bed an hid the heads >.<
i really liked this poem an the hope that tomorow could be a better day in there
Awesome!
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