I'm sitting at the movies
with my popcorn and a drink.
Although the film is splendid,
this event will surely stink.
The guy two seats below me
will not shut his stupid trap.
I try to watch the screen, but
his fat lips won't cease to flap.
His voice is most obnoxious --
this investment; I regret.
After spending thirty dollars,
this cannot be what I get.
It's not so much the talking,
as the stupid things he'll blurt.
I don't need whoos and hollers
when a girl takes off her shirt.
Or what about that scene
in which the guy did silly rhymes?
I got that it was funny --
Don't repeat it fifty times.
Throughout the tear-felt moments,
his cellphone made quite the shove.
I regret I had to hear
him wish his schnookums lots of love.
He talks and talks and talks,
but I won't take it any more.
I think that he is loud,
well, he has yet to hear my roar!
The anger I am feeling
is a hint he should embrace.
If crap spews out his mouth,
I'll put a diaper on his face.
Yet as I keep on ranting,
life starts getting rather grim.
With all my loud complaining,
I am sounding just like him.
Author notes
Word of Inspiration: Logorrhea
Grrr to people that talk at the cinemas!
A contest entry
- MAKE ME HAPPY TRY TO MAKE ME LAUGH. by tarcus.
450 points, ended June 25, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What does this poem mean to you?
Comments
1 - 62 of 62
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Hy-lariouss!!!! (spelt wrong for EMPHASIS!)
Cracked me up, "Jizzle" if that is your true moniker, which I doubt. It was like Dr. Seuss meets Bobcat Golthwait or somethin'.
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nice,,, funny,,, I felt as if I were there,,, missing the movie, paying more attention to this guy, than the movie,, and looking for a "Diaper to put in his face" thanks for sharing, you've got my attention now,, to read more of your "stuff" can't wait,,,
thanks for sharing,,,gooday
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The poem I mean, don't get a big head
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wow....funny and cute.
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dead on
lol I purposely go to the movies monday through wednesday to get away from the crowd just for that reason! The rhyming was awesome! I don't do very well at that kind of scene myself, unless on accident. Props!
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very interesting not bad by any means. I think guys like the guy you talked about are rude and self centered. You are one fantastic writer.
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verry well done
hey man this was a really great poem... it was really funney got me laughing a few times... the ending really ties the whole poem together... keep up the great work... verry well done.. you are a very good writer.(is that even how u spell writer... ehat ever... any ways my point is that it is great. i wish i could be as great a writer as you LOL -
neat touch
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omg this is amazing. Very funny and the rhyme wasn't forced at all. The end was just a perfect way to tie the whole thing together. Great write, thanks for sharing!
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Excellent
Cools. A very humorous and satirical write, indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme were just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
Excellent Poem
That was great rhyming in this whole poem it was funny but i agree that would be annoying if someone was talking on there cell phone.
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great fun rhyming, of course I'm not sure if it was you or him that disturbed my film watching more...
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kool write
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I HATE when people do this. After all you paid to hear the movie not some rude loud mouth. I love the way you made a poem out of this. Very interesting and fun to read.
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LOL! This poem is hilarious! I hate it when people talk at the movies too, and forget to turn off their cell phones and such. The rhyming was perfect too, and made the poem even funnier. I loved all the phrases you used to express your anger. I loved it!
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this is so funny. i loved how in the last line you saw yourself the way so many people can't c they are. some ppl just make us so mad that we wind up just like them. it was a funny way to put it out there tho! congrats i loved it!
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Justin, Justin... You have the gift of humor, my friend... this was brilliantly funny... and I love that, in the final analysis, you saw yourself... a rant with recognition is the epitome of humor... Well done!
Ken
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here here
Especially the buggers who put their feet up on the back of your seat. GRRRR
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I love this!
It's so funny, and so very true!
I almost didn't notice it rhymed, which is excellent. I hate when rhymes sound forced!
Great job
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hahahah, this is awesome, and i totally relate to this. i like how the whole thing flowed really well, and the rhymes didn't sound forced. good job.
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I just hate when this happens, I think that is why I rather just stay at home and enjoy a movie in my home. No interuptions at home, just don't answer the phone! Very well expressed and I think many will relate , thanks for sharing
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Ha Ha...genious...lol. I laughed the whole way throught this...I can definately relate...and it's funny because my boyfriend does say that i sound just like them with my ranting about them...
but still would love to see or hear that you put a diaper on his face...that would be soooo funny! cute poem
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I hear you on this one
We were at a movie once and this girl entered the double door and her honeysuckle perfume litterally singed my brain .I was shocked for the sweetness of the perfume seemed to have brought out the bugs crawing in that dump and we truly got up and ran out . Often their are loud things yet are just as painful hahaha
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Oh wow. I'm not sure what to say to this one, Justin. Is all you write humor? Well anyways, keep it up. I know I can usually look to you for a good laugh when I need it. the rhyme makes it flow well, and I'm not sure if I can ever picture you writng free-verse.
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Very unique subject and awesome way of putting it together.
Sammie xXx -
Lol! I loved the spin-a-round at the end to showing the transformation... its true though, if complaining enough, we can really be the annoying one.
This are funny words and I loved your funny spin.
Thanks for the entry. -
i laughed at this it is so funny. I sat in front of two girls like this one time, they couldn't stop talking.
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Its funny how someone can change poetry frm being soft and mushy to something funny and simple.i liked this poem cuz i can see u put alot of effort in the poem and it tells a storygreat flow!!!check my poems out and please commentThanks!!!
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hahaha
i liked this very much, man!
it was funny all along, and the rhyming was excellent!
i loved the ending best! somehow, the man who wouldn't stop talking reminded me a lot of my dad.
cheers!
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O_O
That was awesome!
Completely real, entertaining, and what an ending! An amazing write! You definitely have some talent and a great sense of humor! Keep on writing!
Sincerely,
ModernXTimes -
love this one your tatent is awesome there are TOO many loud mouthed idiots in this world
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I like this a lot, and I agree with how much that shit can ruin a movie. But I also loved how you ended it, it was a twist I SO did not see coming!
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i agree. people that talk throughout a movie need t be taught a lesson! i love this you are an awesumwriter and i can't wait to see your future work,
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lol that is awesome man, i know exactly what your talking about and i dont think any one else could have pulled that rhyme off like that
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Your "shameless" advertisements work quite well lol. I seem to keep coming back to this poem when I check the shameless ads and pick the most intriguing one.
Still the same great poem I enjoyed before. -
o.0 never heard of the word before but there is always one in the movies tha can't shut their faces through a film or so it seems. Thank you for sharing this cute and true very true write.
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Approriately named
That's why I don't go to the movies anymore, besides the price. Or I wait 'til its been out for a while and everybody else has seen it so I know to go and see it or not. That's what my brother's for.
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I forgot that I had already read this and clicked the "Featured" link so I felt that I should take the time to comment again. Definitely can relate to you on the annoyance of people who talk on their cell phones (or simply in an inappropriate volume whether it be volume or topic) in places where they should just be keeping their mouths shut. Still a nice write (that hasn't changed since the last time I read it.)
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Clever
LOL how truly you speak. We've all been there I think. My problem was on a small airplane from Memphis to Florence, AL. If I'd had a diaper with me I would have done just what you suggested. Great write to give a smile.
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What a wonderful rant, I enjoyed it very much!
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damn justin! i've not onluy had this happen, but recently! If you're interested, a couple friends and i are going to publish a book through Lulu, including a BINC and ISBN and so on, real marketing. I'd like to ask them if you could join us.
Most of the little kids on here have been raised with two false notions. 1, that poetry ought not to rhyme because idiots like Ginsberg and Whitman didn't. 2, that poetry has to be dark and sad and comes from "out there." To quote stephen king, that's a bunch of bullshit (see "On Writing") and it shows a lack of discipline and poor work ethic.
What you've done here is both funny and serious, and it rings of truth. it has good meter, tells something clearly, and therefore (drum roll) it's actual poetry and a work of art!
Keep up the good work!
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ahaha woww i love this! made me smile...it's something we all think about...there always seems to be that one loud person every time you go to a movie. great write though - the rhyming was perfect!!
(and i love the diaper part too...so clever!!) -
this is great. As usual with you, flawless rhyme and meter, and still a great, undiluted storyline. Another great poem!
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HEAR HEAR
I like the diaper line
even though we call them nappies in this country
xx -
I FRICKIN KNOW!!! Theres always that one guy in the theatre that i want to pick up by his neck and smash his skull through some cinder blocks! the guy who has already seen the movie ten times and knows all the lines and finds the need to yell them out as they are said! the guy who is the mose immatrue bastage, the loudest person ever who always seems to find the seat infront of you in the movie theatre or airplane. wonderful rant! i loved it
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Nice twist at the end. I started this poem, then tried reading it out loud to test the rhythm and meter and it worked really well!! Throw in the fact that the situation was one many people can relate to, and the fact that this poem is genuinely funny, and it's a great piece!! I've found that true humor is the rarest emotion found in poems on this site, and you've got it here!!
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LOL one can sense the frustration and sympathise immensely! Trains are another place where this sort of person is so annoying on the cell phone. I enjoyed the ending where the anger boil into a rant which leaves the person identifying with the negativity they have been experiencing!
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Fantastic
I just start throwing things at people like that.
Poem is great and very amusing...well done.
wolf
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Yes, you can't stand those people in the theatre. But, you would feel like a real ass yourself if you made a scene. Just great. I hear you.
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Hilarious
I loved it...and unfortunately I believe we have all had the asshole at the movies that won't stfu. I am still laughing thanks for the giggle. Great poem. ~mandie~
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All I can say is you must be a hoot to be around!
I have not wanted to write lately or read anything...your humor has uplifted me and I thank you for that! This poem is great!! We have all been there and I know that's one of the biggest reasons I won't waste my money on going to the theater.
Thanks for the smile
darlintlc
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Well spoken and hilarious. That's why I don't go to the movies.
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This was hilarious! But I know how you feel also! I hate when that happens. Especially when the movie is mostly talking and your trying to follow whats going on. Nice one!
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AH! I saw Kung Fu Panada and this kid behind me would not SHUT UP! I figured, okay small kid I'll tell him to shove it. I turned around and I was so angry and I was like, "hey we're at the movies! Shut your big.." Then then his 500 lb dad glared at me. I sat down real fast. A hilarious write. Well done
Mylee -
great piece... though rhyme is not my favorite... this had me all the way through... so bravo...
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oh yes, cellphones are surely anathema. There is a town in Austria which is outlawing their use on public transportation in support of a quiet world.
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a diaper on his face
other than the "cellphone making a (shove)" in the sixth stanza, which seemed awkward, the poem flowed well and worked perfectly. props to you, and great ending. -
This is a very funny one, slow at first but very funny indeed. I like the ending.
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lol, very good! I laughed reading this. It's all so true also, but what's even better is you put your own spin on it.
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lol I had a right laugh at this,I know what you mean when your at the cinema and people keep talking,I just go out and buy movie dvds and watch them in the comfort of my home,lol but this is really funny and truely a masterpiece,Hazel
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This poem is every movie i've ever been to. I love it!!!!i love the flow and the rhyme and the content.It's very funny yet too true.Great job!good luck!
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Lol, I enjoyed this write since it gave me a chuckle
"If crap spews out his mouth,
I'll put a diaper on his face."
That's one of my favorite lines, haha; I like how this piece is about a simple situation and yet all the lines came from your thoughts that were written with such depth.
Good luck in the contest! n.n
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