The rubber room of blankets.
The body, disappeared.
As silence screeches in my mind.
No normal times of fear.
For from within my basket,
grey matter knows no bounds.
A serious dilemna,
As my feet cannot be found.
Visitations common.
Queer and of no form
Storm into my castle
Creatures that I scorn.
Cracking like a thunder.
Howling, like the wind.
They gather at my basket,
knowing I'm within.
The room is turning sideways.
The walls are upside down.
My severed limbs are moving.
Truly I'm Hell bound.
The white coats now approach me.
My basket of disguise.
The shoot me up with venom.
Then slowly, my baskets dies.
By Bob Fox
A contest entry
- very simple capture me by Nikki Rowles.
1100 points, ended July 30, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CRAP FESTIVAL/CARNIVALLE by tarcus.
400 points, ended July 10, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abstract Writers Welcome!!! For my favs only.... by kiwigirljacks.
600 points, ended July 15, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Dark Surrounds Us All by PurpleEmoFoofCheese.
750 points, ended August 20, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - (SCREAMS): WARPED FAIRY TALES!!! by Josh the Communist.
475 points, ended September 20, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Walking into the Darkness! by vampireblood.
300 points, ended September 21, 2008, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My first contest :) Loads of Options, Allowing Pre-writes. Come in and see:D by chilali.
700 points, ended November 5, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkwrite by hellzkitkat420.
480 points, ended July 20, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark writes by darkyinsoul.
700 points, ended October 19, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark/Macabre Poetry (prewrites) by Miss Macabre.
550 points, ended November 29, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 51 of 51
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o0o0o0 Bob just love your dark side
All the best to you -
I really like this, I like the flow and rhyme, the whole idea of madness. This poem speaks very strongly of insanity. The last line isn't very good though, I think it could use a more intense substitute. Overall though, this was a good read. Thanks for entering and luck to you.
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well done
good poem you have penned
like the imagery
like this stanza..
Cracking like a thunder.
Howling, like the wind.
They gather at my basket,
knowing I'm within.
good luck to you in the contest
thanks for the share
Darky
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Sorry not dark enough
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great loved it, good luck deary
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sounds like the pits of hell
coming for a soul to take them away
and to render the death and go
and to the pits they tumble
to the hell hole below and then the story is told
Hugs Hun pain here much!!Angel♥
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Dam those well meaning control freaks! Ha! You investagate the realm of determined mind warp well here. Not so scary,but it could be for those in life beyond beyond. You captured the paranoia in this too.
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Totally raw and intense. Your description is of a hell on earth, and it's all within a mind which has steered away from disturbing reality. Kudos.
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Twisted
Both twisted and funny...its was warped but in a comical way and I totally loved it!
Lilly
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A very interesting and stong piece. I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you very much for entering
Good luck. 
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Oh, loving the twisted psychosis here...very very intriguing! Your poem flows beautifully and I love the imagery you've created. Thanks for sharing this,
Luck. -
Twisted delight
I found this peice interesting. It shows the mind of a poor lost soul. Someone confused by the confusion surrounding them.
Not the typical fairy tail, but that is what this contest is about,
HD
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I love it. Its awesome~ it really makes you pay attention, and keeps it! Great job, and good luck!
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This was an excellent write, very well done. I also agree with the comment below. What does this mean to you?
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OK.. I will comment on this write without your explanation in your ANs lol. The write really spoke to me. I'm not sure this write is too abstract in it's approach, even though your own deeper meaning may be hidden, as I feel readers will all take something from this without having to delve too deep.
This write speaks to me of the torment of the mind.. the "grey matter". Our memories and demons that can visit to haunt us.. try to take away our serenity.. or at least what we try and wear as serenity.. sometimes a mask, to really push us over the edge.
The last stanza I just HAD to relate to my own experience.. the "venom" being the medications that are given out so freely in society today... often making us numb! I don't disagree with medications (obviously as I'm on a LOT lol).. but I do think they are over prescribed today!
So this whole write had a kind of haunting write to me.. of trying to grasp onto threads of sanity while the world and our own thoughts may often be trying to drive that out of us!
Really enjoyed the write!!
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Pretty please add your ANs so I can judge
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Hi and thanks for entering.. please put your explanation of what the write means to you in your Authors Notes as per the rules and then I will comment on what it means to me!
Thanks! -
this site can drive you mad, it seem the trash gets all the prase, never mind bob i love it
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sorry too good to be considered crap and off topic to boot.
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Sorry
But I am not sure I understand. -
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I either wanted poetry about crap/shit or some crap poetry. this is too good to be considered crapand is not about shit as in poo
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I am totaly speachles! This amazing and inspiring!
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Oh my goodness
This is a great poem and it held me the whole way through . Great write here
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Ty
This poem was rejected from a contest
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Captivating!
I'm completely awestruck by this piece!
You definately captured the feeling of insanity and pure madness!
This gives off such a cold, deadly feeling!
I loved it!!
From the imagery to the metaphors down to the very flow of this piece!!
Simply loved it!!
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Hi
And ty so much for the nice comment. Unfortunately this was another of my many poems disquailified from a contest... lol
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Killer!
I really liked the imagery and the way you used the "basket". Great Job!
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Great write Bob... really strong!
The last stanza is a killer!
I love the way you've used the 'basket' metaphor, it's brilliant.
All the best
Sol
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I think I must be the basket case here! Which way is the exit?? LOL and like that.
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The white coats now approach me.
My basket of disguise.
The shoot me up with venom.
Then slowly, my baskets dies.
~ nice to have emo bob back! kidding...
this is very cool in a dark kinda way. too bad the host "didn't get it."
~ tim
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oooh-I'm, captivated
ooooh, I'm surely captivated by this piece-you've done it again...exquisite...each verse touches oh so deeply and executed so well, and the message communicated here I can surely identify with...I have to admit,I didn't want this piece to end!!! Congrats on another gem!
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Hi
And I think you are right. Perhaps i should have continued on. But then I do not want to bore the reader. & ty so much
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Oh my gosh!!!
This freaked me out a little.
great writing!!! Excellent flow my friend
Delila
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Well Bob...If she could not relate to this piece than it was her lost!! But more than likely she is young and not life wise yet!!! Those of us that battled this society can relate all to well!!! Brilliantly done as always....
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In one of your replies to a comment, you say that most people will not be able to relate to your words, unfortunately then, I must be one of the ones that does...because it makes perfect sense to me...I think you have to experienced a life before you can understand.
I enjoyed (if that's the right word) this very much.
All the best...Sue
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Sue
I know there are some on here that can relate . But unfortunately most on here are just intersted in sex/love poems for their contest it seems
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This is excellent poetry...The rhyme is flawless, emotion is so powerful and shock makes it riviting to read. You have the talent to write mystery novels...You have such a way with language and word usage...I love reading your work....It is always an experience which brings such emotion
Lynda
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Lynda
Lynda my lovely & kind friend I ty so much. However I did enter this into a contest & was quickly disquailified. lol -
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what!
I have no idea why
This is excellent and shows such promise....If there is an appropriate theme contest that allows prewrites, you should enter!
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scary poem::: Bob... very creative prettypoetry
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Man I loved it. So wonderfully twisted. Excellent imagery and flow. Great job!
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Hi
And i am glad you understood & commented so nicely on this piece.
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What a great job you did here my friend! I really enjoyed this one! You really captured this quite nicely! The insanity of it all
Best of luck in this contest!
Nyetta
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Darn good.
Well composed poem. Spot on.
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I loved this write my friend I can sooo relate
Well done yet again
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Tee hee, you captured insanity (the action sequence could also be reflection of a man receiving a death sentence) quite astutely. Nice flow of actions and description of action. Very rare even within rhyming poems to do this effectively.
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a sure winner or should be. Bob your saying that you are a basket case? Well don't feel alone
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I like the poem..but it's not what I'm looking for I've very sorry...I just I cna't realate...I want something I can relate to...thank you so much though..
Dhrace -
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ty
And it does not surprise me at all. lol Just remove it dear for you would not be the first one.
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Wow Bob what a powerful piece! This is a place that I am sure many of us have been many times. Sanity can be so hard to hold onto at times.Excellent imagery, rhyme and flow.
You really captured me with this write.
All the best in the contest.
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My friend
I always appreciate your kind comments. I feel that to write such a poem, one must be able to look deep inside or experience such things. [ I will not go there ]. But life is not always rainbows and Lolly-pops. As for the contest, we shall see for I feel most will not know what the hell I am talking about. lol
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