our life together is placed into a jar
the world surrounds us and peers inside
the things they say, we'll disregard
we have each other as a loving guide
when i talk to you, everything else just fades
you are the center piece of my heart
you're what makes the waterfalls cascade
and the never ending darkness depart
you make my world a beautiful place
you surround me in every way but one
i still can't kiss your precious face
but one day i can and all will be won
you don't have to physically be here
to prove to me that you truly care
because one day life will bring us near
and the rest of our life we will share
you may not want me around that long
but i'll care about you until that day
maybe by then, i'll write you a love song
i'll make each verse sweet and cliche
each thing you say i enjoy
you are my fairytale boy
Author notes
again, for Jamal <3
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This has alot of meaning behind it and i love your hope and faith in love. The poem itself could be a little reworked to make it flow better, make the rhyme a bit more consistent if you choose to use rhyme and some of the lines are a bit weak and take away from the strength of the poem. Overall i like the meaning behind the poem and think the actual poem is about a 5/10 with some improvement could really get up there
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whoa, a strong and wonderful poem my friend that is all i can think to say here, keep it flowing
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