Darkness and hatred welling up inside my mind
To escape the sadness and pain from deep within
I sought out the rain, unaware what I would find
On a lonely hill, there was a sweet taste in the air
It filled my lungs with clarity, cooled my temper
Strange how this calming bliss came fast from nowhere
Suddenly fear seemed lost, and time seemed forever
In the skies I saw a sight beyond all others
Two rainbows lay perfectly, quelling confusion
Dumbstruck, enamored by vibrant pastel colors
I was smiling to a beguiling illusion
A twin phantasm, beyond touch, immune from harm
Yet born of real things, falling rain, breaking sun
Soft red’s, gentle blue’s, green beauty, violet calm
These two serene ghosts of the daylight shone as one
As rain fell, I was content with this healing sight
But sudden thunder seized my ears, silence was broken
And a godlike flash enveloped the sky in light
Grey became electric blue, clouds were awoken
The storm echoed in my mind, sadness was dying
My thoughts were cleansed, fears fled and sorrows ceased
Lightning lingered in my eyes, my senses flying
Lost in reverence for this power, and newfound peace
The storm was might and strength, yet its shadow was dark
The rainbow happiness and peace, yet its arm weak
It became so clear, they weren’t meant to be apart
They were incomplete alone, and destined to meet
A thousand pages couldn’t describe how I felt
Seeing this dance of opposites in sparkling rain
As utmost power and beauty began to melt
The color, the thunder and the flash, sorrow’s bane
I had found the creators of strength and of love
Divine powers I can’t touch or hold, not ever
But I thank them for the gift they sent from above
They gave me love to hold in my soul forever
The ghostly rainbow, mighty storm and crystal rain
I won’t forget them, and their mark will linger on
Dampening all my worries and soothing my pain
In my mind they left an imprint, my heart a song
Author notes
*written-in-ink contest* Thought i'd enter this one in your contest as you wanted some hope, this was originally written for the comp below and is about an experience of being pulled up out of darkness and into hope. I certainly hope it helps lift you a bit!
all the best
Contest entry, Option 3: wordbank, suboption 2: enamored, bliss, thousand, beguile, reverence, utmost, phantasm, whim, sparkling, linger
The wordbank reminded me of a personal experience I had years ago, I wanted to convey the natural beauty of what I saw that day with the feelings and insights it gave me.
You could use 6 or more words from the bank but I managed to include them all (although the word 'beguile' became 'beguiling', but I hope you won't be too harsh on me for that!). Hope you like it, and please feel free to comment
A contest entry
- Options Contest for the Creative Mind by chasingwhiterabbits.
700 points, ended June 20, 2008, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING TO JUST FEEL BETTER... by written-in-ink.
563 points, ended September 24, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - project un-cliche by hks.
800 points, ended October 3, 2008, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
simply amazing.


-
The story of the life is in the words though but it brings the depth to the meaning of life..very thoughtful journey..well done..
-
Awesome piece! Beautiful share! Thanks so much for sharing this one with us here!
-
Loved it
Loved the freshness it conveyed.
Felt as if I was there. Very nice. -
Loved it
-
Arresting and stirring. An imaginative and comprehensive use of expression.
-
i loved this poem it was freash and full of hope the rainbows and the storm nice job and the rainwell it was an added bonus you could just imagine it all taken place at an end of some field great way of drawing the reader in almost felt the rain on my ton


-
I wasn't sure where you were going with this when the storm came up, but you didn't let me down. You conveyed so much and really gave the reader something to appreciate. Nice job.


-
Thank You 4 Enteirng our Contest Project Un-Cliche
Hello there I am a judge for the contest mentioned above and I am absolutely in shock at hoe beautiful this poem turne dout to be. well structured well balanced and well worded makes this a very attractive unique poem. any ways I just seriously am in awe and love the depth of this poem. any ways excellent write and good luck in the contest(s)

-
WOW!!! This reminds me of one of my poems, speaking of how the worlds wonders can bring you to life again, bring you back from the brink. The images in this are so vivid! I love the way you decribed the power and beauty of the storm, and the rainbow. It is amazing to think about, how the rage of a storm can also bring something so beautiful, and that it is natural. Many meanings and thoughts come from this amazing write! And your words are just...wow! I love this!


-
it did and thank you so much for the message
i think that this did a wonderful job of giving hope
and i am glad that you entered it
there was something about it that kept me there reading it
thank you and good luck -
This is an amazing poem, im going to come back and leave you a very thoughtful comment when i get back to my house.
sorry to much noise here to think
i will be back though i promise

-
I love line 10 "Two rainbows lay perfectly, quelling confusion/Dumbstruck, enamored by vibrant pastel colors/I was smiliing a beguiling illusion" I actually just love the whole stanza there. It was such a creative way of describing rainbows. The only thing and it just a suggestion, but you might want to change line 9 to "In the skies I saw a sight beyond compare" I don't know it's up to you. I also loved the line "I became so clear, they weren't meant to be apart/They were incomplete, (add comma) alone, and destined to meet/A thousand pages couldn't describe how I felt/Seeing this dance of opposites in sparkling rain." And the last lines "The ghostly rainbow, mighty storm and crystal rain/I won't forget them, and their mark will linger on/Dapening all my worries and soothing my pain/In my mind they left an imprint, my heart a song". This was just such an amazing poem. I could almost see what you saw you described it so well. I'm not really good at understanding poems, but was this poem also comparing a love experience you had or have still? Again an amazing poem, you are truly a great poet.


-
This is a beautiful poem darling. You make the finalists list, hands down. You really drew me into the experience; it felt like I was watching it. And it's always fine to change words around a little, don't worry.
Thank you so much for entering.










