Fly away butterfly
Fly away fly
If you stay here
You will surely die
Fly away fly away
Butterfly fly
Fly me away
Before I die
Fly away butterfly
Fly fly fly
Fly us from harm
Before we die
Fly away fly away
Fly fly fly
Author notes
By ~ Maxboy
Background ~ Silence By ~ JeannieD Hunter
Photo ~ deviantART Dark-Fantacy 77798795
Silver,HM(2)
In a list
A contest entry
- Fantasy by Scarlettsea.
387 points, ended July 21, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Suicide\Depressing\Dark by SilverWolf.
375 points, ended September 12, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
PLEASE COMMENT SO I CAN LEARN
Comments
1 - 51 of 51
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I love this take on the picture prompt. ^_^ Simple and yet so deep with such few words used.
You get your point across well...
we need to get away from this world if we are to truly live.
Beautiful words. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. -
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Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.
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...hmm....I like it. It's amazingly simple, and It's a twisted way to look at the picture.
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Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.
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This is an eloquent if simple poem. Though sad and evident of the cycle of life still quite beautiful. Thank you so much for entering and good luck!
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Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.
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quite welcome!
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...whenever I think of butterflies I always think of the chaos theory...the way I take this poem is that the butterfly begins as a butterfly fleeing from a point of danger (animals are known to flee from danger with a second instinct)...at which point it becomes the transport that takes people away from harm (e.g. Aeroplane) I'm usually wrong with these things but...I enjoy this...it shows how much we rely on the frail things in life to get us to safety...I also like the picture...as it shows the butterfly as the more dominant one...
Oliver
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Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.
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AWESOME
Wow, this is beautifully written, with a kind of chilling feel to it. Usually if something is very repetative it gets kind of annoying, but you arranged it in such a way that it just adds to the profoundess of it. Thanks for submitting -
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Thank you so much for your wonderful comment.
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Your welcome
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It's a nice poem, but there's a little too much repetition for my taste.
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Thank you for the comment.
Don
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Hi very intresting poem. Really well written!
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Thank you for the very nice comment.
Don
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Hi. Interesting poem, simple yet complex. Quite dark, quite weird. Good beginning and ending.
'Fly away butterfly
Fly away fly
If you stay here
You will surely die
Fly away fly away
Butterfly fly
Fly me away
Before I die'
Thought it was interesting how you seemed to be protecting the butterfly, yet needing it's protection at the same time. I also liked the picture, and thought it worked well with the poem.
Thanks for entering.
skitza
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Thank you so much for the wonderful comment.
Don
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Hello
This poem is very very well wrote and it flows so well. my only quarrel with this poem is the fact that the word fly seems to dominate the poem:
out of 46 words in this 18 of them are the word fly
you could have used other words and still have the same flow. all my love, thanks for entering
-kitty xxx -
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Thank you for your honest comment. I really do appreciate your honesty. I find that most people either love it or hate it. The ones in between I don't think leave a comment at all.
So, thank you very much.
Don
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Aww your welcome. its only nice to comment its rude not to comment
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This as a really powerful piece especially considering it uses so few words and a lot of repetition. The idea of the butterfly and flying away was really great. I liked the third stanza and the image of this fragile creature carrying someone away from harm. Nice work x
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Thank you very much for the wonderful comment.
Thanks Again
Don
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short and sweet, i liked it!
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Thank you, I'm pleased you liked it.
Thanks Again
Don
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I like this it seems to say a lot in only a few words. Very well written. Bravo and Good Luck!
~dawn♥ -
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Thank you very much for your kind words and comment, I am pleased you liked my poem.
Don
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cool
I liked the general theam of this poem,however I felt there were a little too many repeats
thanks for entering -
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Thank you for your comment.
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If I counted correctly, you used the word "fly" seventeen times in four short stanzas. I think it's a bit much, personally.
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Thank you for the comment.
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The repetition was way too much for me, and it weakened the poem. You should never use the same word that many times in one piece.
Thanks for entering. -
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Thank you for the comment.
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I like it, the pic is good, and not to mention, it is kinda sad, and it all works together.
Good luck in my contest! -
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Thank you for the very nice comment.
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Wow. Great job.
Thanks for entering -
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Thank you very much.
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Fly and escape the normal day
A great entry you have penned
Thank you and best wishes to you in our contest
Julie -
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Thank you for the wonderful comment.
Best Wishes
Don
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I enjoyed reading your entry. It has wonderful imagery in the words. Thank you for taking time to enter my contest.
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You are welcome, thank you for the comment.
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awww this is so beautiful I like the picture and the meaning of the poem so wonderful good luck
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Thank you for the comment and all the applause, I am happy you liked it.
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This is so beautiful. I loved the repetition, and you portrayed that image so incredibly. I really like this piece=) Thank you so much for entering & I wish the best of luck to you ! ♥
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Thank you so much for the applause and great comment
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I really like the repitition, but I think the ends of the stanzas should have been stronger. It would have made more of an impact if you used more imagery. It has great flow though. Alyssa
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Thank you for the comment and the wonderful input. I will have to take another look at it.
Thanks Again
Don
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Beautifully dark, wonderful use of repetition.
Good luck in the contest! -
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Thank you for your comment and complement.
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Nice rhythm and flow that paints this image to the flight of sadness and certain death.
Thank you for your entry and best wishes
Julie
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Thank you so much for the Honorable Mention, your nice comment and all the applause. It really does meen a lot to me.
Thanks Again
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