lights glow
nor the landscape
suffer victims, dispell
while death awaits its inflict drape
lights glow
Author notes
A Cinquain is a short, usually unrhymed poem consisting of twenty-two syllables distributed as 2, 4, 6, 8, 2, in five lines.
A contest entry
- Cinquain by Yemassee.
554 points, ended June 21, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I like this poem a lot. The structure is definitely interesting to me: short and balanced. Thought provoking.
. Rewarded 4
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Excellent
A rather unique philosophical write about death. I rather liked the content, however, I'm not particularly impressed by Cinquain's as a form for poetry. None the less, 'tis your choice to use it. -
I like it, while short as it's meant to be, it makes you think.
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The two verbs together "inflict" and "drape" feels awkward to me. But the whole thing seems to challenge our notion of structure and logic. A bit avant-garde, I have a feeling you are challenging our notion of language.
It fits my my notion of what a cinquain is, thanks for entering it in the contest.
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I like it, although the second line is a bit awkward/confusing. This was a clever, creative piece though, and definitely made me think.
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its inflict drape
is choppy. the lights shouldn't glow if death is near, it could be dim or fail. idk, good luck -
It's interesting, although the second line doesn't make much sense to me. I think that as a cinquain it works, despite the second line. I wish you luck in the contest, I am sure you will do well! Pyrochick21 mentioned that it made her think, and I agree. It certainly made me think a bit about it, and how to do one. I doubt I'd be able to pull it off.
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i loved this format and structure!
lovely, lovely dark and light layers to enjoy!
A cinquain huh? interesting format and structure!
Thankyou for sharing it with us!
ears/Seattle
. Rewarded 4
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interesting
makes me think
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i had a diffiult time understanding the meaning of this write as some lines seemed to contradict the others. i am a bit slow at times though. thank you for sharing this with me today and i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. i wish you the best of luck in this contest that you have entered. viyanna rosemarie *ROSE*
. Rewarded 6
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Interesting form or poetry, Congratulations and best of luck in the contest.
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I'm dumb
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thanks
victims washed at sea brought back to the land. Tempted try. Hope this fits a cinquain lol, let me know? Haley27
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