I'm waiting for the rain. I'm
tired of the sun, it sickens
me, it seems to happy. When
the rain comes, I wont be the only
one crying anymore. The sky joins my
sorrow.
Listean to the rain! Ahh,
listean to its stories of
far away! They're forming
as they fall. The sky weeps,
I weep for the mourning of my
shattered heart.
(Listean to the rain)
I stand alone in the storm.
(I'm listeaning)
I feel all alone,
(Shh, just listean)
But somehow I know you
still love me. I can't open my
eyes, there's nothing to live for
since you left me here falling to peices.
The rain will wash away my sanity
memories. I'll just listean to the
rain. (Just listean)
A contest entry
- How's the Weather? by Judith Chandler.
625 points, ended June 29, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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i really enjoyed this, just a couple of spelling/grammar/punctuation sugestions.
in line three, i believe you meant to say 'too' instead of 'to', also, in line four, go ahead and put an apostrophe in 'wont'. a quick spell check may have been useful - i really enjoyed this but was distracted by the mispelling of 'listen'. other than these small things (and i'm being picky), i really enjoyed this, and i usualy dislike reading lyrics.
my favorite lines were
'listen to it's stories of
far away! they're forming
as they fall'
thank you for a nice read.
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hmmm...
Hey, this is really good. Just one thing. You spelled 'listen' wrong. You should really fix that becasue it is disracting from the rest of the piece. Over-all though, I really like this.
Bravo! And happy writing!
The Famous Reese Bailey
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you know I do beleive I mentioned no emo shit and this is kinda reminding me of that sorry your out
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oh dear....*shakes head with exagerated motions* I'm so....not sorry if u dont like it u dont have to be bitchy about it! Forgive my ass!
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There is some nice work here, nice imagery, especially the rain's stories forming as they fall.
Unfortunately, this piece could have used some more proofreading.
Thank you for entering my contest. -
this is AWESOME! i really like it!
xAbbyxGrace
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