Island
red ground rough sand
strange land in strangest sea
let warmth of yellow sunrise touch
fair Mars
A contest entry
- Cinquain by Yemassee.
554 points, ended June 21, 2008, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Congrats !!
How exciting! Now we just need to indulge in time traveling as well. You are a talented and creative individual YAY! -
Good cinguain, worthy of the Gold. The mysteries and wonders of Mars yet to be discovered. Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
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Well I commented on this one but since AP doesn't seem to recognize Sir Ima Q as a legitimate judge, I'll add another comment here.
It's definitely one of my favorites in the contest.
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better check line #2 - 5 syllables??? Eh? joy
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ahh...someone who can count to five...
...thanks...PK
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Any fair place would be a paradise, here or in Mars.
I think that is what we all look for (or most of us anyway), a fair island.
I like this one, it stirs so many thoughts.
Well done h
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I wish I could see all that there will be to see.
Fabulous cinquain, hon.
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Ah, it's not just about the red planet, not with that title. Mars is a goal, a dream, a belief, much like the moon once was. I think it represents man's ambitions, his lofty visions, his need to explore, to search adventure, to find whatever it is we need that the future holds, and that is how I read this cinquain, not literally, well, not just literally. That at least explains the title.
Fair Mars, perfect last line, it expresses that desire, that sense that whatever is in that future is worth reaching.
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Is the the future as in how it was perceived many moons ago? 50's and 60's thoughts of a rock filled with little green men? Or the hope and aspiration of this blue, white, and green rock...? A place where a few may go after we rape her of what she's worth then slap her with all our wastes? A serene scene you paint for a planet named after a god of war. Ahh... War... What is is good for? Ideas? Rights? Freeing folks? Nope. Oil to burn. LOL
Write on, brohter.
Dez
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i have this same feeling an evolution...raising our sights to higher goals... Planet Serene would be a better name than Mars...i got the feeling there was not a vote on that one...thanks for everything...PK
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For space travel may be upon us someday. Just not for astronots anyway...Someday it might be the wave of the new frontier! Mars...you never know. Wonderful poem. ~Sie
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if someday we do find ourselves living in that strange red land..perhaps this can be it's national anthem!
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A path leads to this, and i feel my generation has lost sight; we have been led by the will to amass great fortunes for a few...change is in the air, an anthem for today...thank you so much...PK
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What a beautiful cinquain about the planet Mars. You have done yet another masterful write.....novy
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