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Torture

Fire Burn and Spirits Crash
As chains do pull away
Blood that pours out on the floor
And faces lined in grey.

The hard etched hand of creatures thus
That to commit to sorrow
I do not think that I will see
The sun that sets tomorrow.

Lightning strikes as thunder roars
The deafening note has played
My eyes grow dark as I do know
My heart is sorely weighed.

Rip and tear the flesh from thou
That pulls the ugly grin
Yet I have more than that to fear
For all that do begin.

The face of you that seems which thus
Drawing out the murder
Time to take the fear from you
With the heavy iron girder.

Smash to pulp and rip to bits
Heavy on your brain
Injuries as worse from this
Never can be feigned.

I know the demons tear my heart
And rip it into pieces
But to sit I have to do
As the pain increases.

Heart on fire, brain in hell
suffering this torture
Why won't someone bring me please
A simple glass of water.

Whips that come are hard on flesh
Chains do leave their mark
But torture is this never ending
Fear of what is dark!

The iron poker to my flesh
Emmit's thus such a scorcher.
I am tied and must give in
To this thing that they call torture.

 

Notallowedtocry

Author notes

I thought of this randomly and i hope you like it XxX

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Comments


  • indomitable
    June 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ok, a few things dont make sense. "The face of you that seems which thus Drawing out the murder" this makes no sense. the face seems what? the face seems which thus? i dont get it.

    "But to sit I have to do As the pain increases." this is another line i dont quite get, but i suppose i could stretch it into something i undrstand.

    all in all the poem is a great idea with lovely imagery, but the ryhming is just awful. it has a lovely flow in most places, but in a couple spots the rythm of it just dies. i would steadfastly ignore this for a month, dont even glance at it, then take it out and open a rhyming dictionary, and try and work out the kinks. (there are a few nice free ryhme dictionaries online, theyre quite useful.) dont give up on this one though, its a sound poetic idea, and if better executed would be awesome!