you lied, you cheated, you broke my heart
you call yourself a marine, a christian, blind from the start
blind to all the ugly you had buried within
blind to the sins the mistrust that'd begin
How can one's desire be to serve and protect
while waiting at home, your fiance you neglect
distance is fine, I've stood proud by your side
It's the abuse and the secrets that eat me alive
you put on a show, and a fool I became
I savored every word, ignorant to the game
loving you so much, holding onto hope
instead I just tightened my own rope
making endless excuses for you, sucking up the hurt
pretending you didn't mean it, treating me like dirt
a fake smile I plaster straight across my face
while inside I'm pleading, does he still love me, is there a trace?
"all that I am lies around your neck and in your heart"
the dog tags, the memories, would later tear me apart
tokens of love and thoughts I'd rather forget
the romantic proposal at church I'd soon after regret
laughter, our future, and our dreams we had
replaced with pain, nausea, fear, always sad
You knew my past and all my biggest fears
you promised me something better, no more tears
I'll prove to you I'm different, even if it takes years
I'll always be yours, God and I will never abandon you
those haunted words, wishing they had only rang true
where did the charming man I once knew go
did I do something wrong or are you letting your colors show
how could I of been so blind to buy every word spoken
how could love once again leave me recklessly broken
a marine to the core "Semper Fi" he will always be
what he left out was "Semper Fi" didn't mean towards me
you're a fake, and an embarrassment to your kind
the brave you may be, but loyalty left behind
you used the Lords name in vain promising on him
yet you knew the secrets and lies were a sin
how do you live with yourself and all that you do
hiding behind the labels and "the proud and the few"
I'll never view marines the same or care what they desire
not only on the field, but in relationships they set fire
you claim you want a good girl, loyal while your away
they are so hard to find, they've all cheated you say
God blesses you with an angel, and sets her by your side
you'd think you'd be happy, beaming with pride
yet you take her for granted, and think you can hide
push her away, need a "break", disappear for two months
you must think I'm stupid to think I don't see past the stunts
I know you were trying to date other girls behind my back
I even gave you a chance to be honest, to cut you some slack
you come back begging, crying to fix all we had
my forgiving heart, lost soul, craving healing from the bad
It's partly my fault for enduring what you gave
but can you blame me, our dreams I wanted to save
To this day your secrets you keep
my nights pass by sick, unable to sleep
You tell me you love me and I'm where you want to be
yet I've never felt more invisible, I can't get you to see
your not the only one with battle wounds from war, mine is from you, yours is from sand
left with the meaningless ring you placed on my hand
I spend countless hours wondering what I did to get here
was it my fault, what changed, why am I facing my worst fear
I used to admire you, look up to your bravery and strength
now I look down and despise what you've created at great length
my best friend, my boyfriend, my fiance, my hero
all gone in a flash, left with zero
who now is to rescue me from the deamon you've unleashed
long nights crying being tormented by your beast
I thought you were the one to protect me from pain
scars, raw wounds, bleeding down rain
because of you, I'll never be the same
Author notes
Yes, i know it probably sounds harsh considering who it's about. Trust me if you knew the story and what a rollercoaster i've been on, you'd agree with how I feel though. To be fair, marine, christian, whatever the label, no male or person should treat another in such a hurtful fashion. Sadly, I will never honestly know what caused our destruction. how does any relationship go from fairytale happy to a bloody wreck so fast without so much as a clue on how. I could blame it on immaturity or maybe denile of who he really is. lost boy. i admit i made my mistakes but nothing bad enough to deserve what he's done. A marine couldn't of asked for a more loyal and loving fiance, and out of the blue all he could do is play head games. I could blame it on war screwing with his head, but if thats true, the sad thing is he'll never allow himself a healthy relationship cause hell always run his destructive path. i will always love him despite the hurt he's caused and cry over the love that we lost and could of kept.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
When I saw just the title of the poem, I thought it was some piece of anti-war poetry and was ticked off for the sake of the troops. Once I began reading the poem,though, I understood, and I agree completely.
Yes--unfortunately, jerks do get into the Marine Corps at times. They have had to arrest a few for murder.
It's a real shame to see someone you're supposed to be able to trust and whose honor you're supposed to be able to believe in turn out to be in it just for the aura of power. It never sinks into some people's heads that true power comes from inner strength and conviction, not from just the trappings of a uniform and the ability to carry a military weapon.
Real Marines who are in it to truly serve do understand and uphold the difference.
Here's hoping that the next man you come to love proves himself worthy of it.
-
Such a strong powerful and very emotional poem indeed,I do not like it when people get hurt like this but sadly thats becoming a part of life,I saw my dad go through hurt by my mum and it was a nightmare but now they are divorced and getting on with their lives,I hope in time you will get through your hurt and know your not alone,a well expressed write,Hazel
-
The marines call to a noble calling within us, then manipulate it. We do what is done to us if we mean to or not.
It's a sad game in which the participants aren't often consciously playing...but which plays out all the same...all you can do is drop the fucker and move on.
Maybe it's not his fault...but he'd been conditioned...the results though are the same...your response can only be rational. -
excellent
oh wow,.....such anger, bitterness, pain and sadness you bring forth....It really got to me
you've done an amazing job with the rhyme, I didn't find anything forced, so WELL DONE, & i find that amazing since this is a fairly long poem.!
there were some spelling errors....so just to tidy up, you might want to go back and check them...and I know this is a minute detail.
..but i think it would look, aesthetically better if you actually spelled out "2 months".>>I find spelled out numbers to read better, but thats just my opinion
a compelling and heartfelt poem, I hope you will be able find the light within you amidst your pain
keep writing dear.
~Ptolema
-
The nrhymes at the end of each line come down with a thump - very expressive.
-
I cant begin to pass judgement because I really dont know the story but yes war can change you. I was there and I could see the changes it made in my own life. I cant say that I came back worse then I leftas far as my actions went in my relationship because my fiance left me shortly after I left. But your right in that requardless of what anyone goes through its no excuse to treat others wrong. Yes war changes you but you cant use that as an excuse for your own bad actions. Its the sign of a weak mind.
The poem itself is well written. I really liked the rhyme. I think I was thrown once when you went from just rhyming with 2 lines to rhyming with 3. But its not a bad thing and didnt take away from the flow at all. The only real place that was a slight bump in the flow is line 38 and also the rhyme with that line seemed a little bit forced.
It really is a good poem though and I greatly enjoyed reading it.
-
this is a sad poem well writen though you express emotion well
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
