Your scent in the morning
Teases
Like the tantalizing flavor
Of your ripe strawberry kisses
Hazy eyes that watch me
With lazy interest
Yes, I love how they
Follow my every move
But when your hands slide
Like soothing water over my body
Caressing every muscle
Touching every spot...
It makes my nerve endings twitch
In anticipation
Your eyes dark with desire
And your kisses
They make me want more
I drive myself into insanity
Teasing touches and soft sounds
The growl vibrating through your throat
The purr rolling off my tongue
Panting kisses and whimpering grunts
Nails raked down heated skin
The impulse too strong
Impulse to move
To become more then what we are
To become each other
Sink through skin to my very being
Dip into my soul and bathe in my hopes
While I shower in your dreams
Filling myself with the echo of your forgotten memories
This need to become one
Reverberates off the walls
And back into my heart
Vibrating within your last cries for sanity
Before it's all gone
And once again you are you
And I am I
But for that one moment
Our souls touched
Author notes
What I imagine it really should be. A work in progress I think
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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very seductive
i love the words you chose in this. it is, as autumn shirley said, the way it should be. & the way it is in flashes i suppose. i love the third stanza...that admission that you love to be watched by your lover just seems so honest and naked and true to life!
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awsome
all i have to say is that is exactly how it should feel!
great poem -
I love this write. Its beautiful. Don't u wish it was like this everytime lol. Anyways its great. Good work
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My God, this is spectacular! I was transported to that time and place, felt all the caresses, admired the beauty of the moment. Very well done!
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Most Beautiful
This is beautiful, sensious, and pure all at the same time. You imagine what it should be and indeed it really is. Very few people get to experience such intense love. It is indeed the touching of two souls. I hope what you imagine enters your life. It does not happen often, but when it does your words just about covers it. Great write!!!
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Greatly touches the emotions. Nice piece.
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this is truly beautiful. that need to become one is so immense. you've expressed it wonderfully.
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yeah - that need to become one - it's a doosey! i enjoyed this write, because it is about so much more than the physical. this is about that transcendent moment when, like you said, two souls touch. which is far and above better than the physical stuff alone. if you are writing from experience on this one - you are envied! neat read. - NANGALEEMA
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Nails raked down heated skin
The impulse too strong
Impulse to move
To become more then what we are
To become each other
I love this write as a whole, but this is my favorite part. -
"To become more then what we are
To become each other"
Very epic line, a feeling very related, and so well put into words.
The whole time i read this i thought of my love, through your poem -
Well this was very well written! I love reading erotica... This one kept my attention... You did a great job, and it was very well written!! Keep up the great work!
Shannon*Leah -
I do agree a very sexy seductive poem. you did a great job !!! i saw this beautyful woman while reading the poem!!!
yhis is my fav stanzas:
Sink through skin to my very being
Dip into my soul and bathe in my hopes
While I shower in your dreams
Filling myself with the echo of your forgotten memories
This need to become one
Reverberates off the walls
And back into my heart
Vibrating within your last cries for sanity -
this was a very...shall I say, "sexy" poem? I loved the expressions and the two souls becoming one within each other.
Great job! -
i feel in love with this poem is was so wonderful and the expression wow great job
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Nice job!
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Erotic
Before it's all gone
And once again you are you
And I am I
But for that one moment
Our souls touched
I loved these two stanzas the most...they made me feel so good. This was a wonderfully seductive piece of the collide of two hearts. Great write. ~mandie~ -
Suggestion.and view.
'Filling myself with the echo's deep'
And now what I feel about the poem as a whole.
This is a very tantalizing, smooth piece of writing giving no time for the reader to look around.
A good thought provoking attempt as it moves in with the inputs and climaxes in body and soul.
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nice write
I think its cool how you labeled normal experience comparatively ill when compared to the thrawls of romance.you have a writer's slight of hand that makes this work worth reading.I enjoyed it.
DOnutninja -
well... not what i was expecting to read when i clicked on this but you wrote it very well and were not smutty at all. thank you for sharing this and keep up the good work. viyanna rosemarie
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I like this Ashley, it would have been a good entry if not for the length, if i had to critique this I would say that it could you some paring down... for example, lines like:
"Sink through my skin to my very being
Dip into my soul and bathe yourself in my hopes"
you could eliminate the two "my"s in the space of four words by a little editing, something like:
"Sink through skin to my very being
Dip into my soul and bathe in my hopes"
the "yourself" was not needed because it is assumed who is intended... little things like that
I would also play with the line breaks a little, Stanza 1 and Stanza 8 contrast very sharply in their usage...
I edit pieces until there is almost nothing left, so I may not be the best judge of that...lol
just food for thought, its lovely though
al
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great
loved it
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