She stood beside the icy river
and threw the little girl she was in,
warm, tender flesh set afire
in frigid patchy floes,
coldly watching her struggle,
instead of waiting and swimming with her
in the silken caress of the dark summer water...
silently, full of regret, she walked away,
lips numb, tongue dumb, heart stung,
knowing she should have waited,
but it was too late
to save her...
A contest entry
- Make me feel it by Dovina.
450 points, ended July 1, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Poignant...see
perhaps for
in frigid patchy floes
one might imagine an inversion
in patchy frigid floes ?
________
Effective essay and interesting juxtaposition between 'coldly watching' and the silken caress of the dark summer water
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At first, I didn't get line 2, but as I read on, it made a little more sense. But I am still wondering a little bit, were there two girls or just one? This is a very dark write. it's sad that she couldn't save her though. Thanks for your entry.
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