Oh, poisoned Saint on the verge of death
Angel of innocence and love, tainted
"Have you seen the perfections of her smile?"
My halo rusted from blood of clawing, unwanted
Always shy with keen eyes, scarred from the sins
Cut my wings off only to fall from grace
I want to feel the temptation, cries of joyous pain
A walk on the wild side well deserved
Let the horns grow from my temple, I'll maul them all
Burning my lungs out with the potent drugs of life
Teach them not to mess with "perfection", but to fear
I want to lose my dignity and feel shame
Rip my heart out to show what's there, nothing
The quiet lamb has been slaughtered, by a fierce bitch
Me....I guess I am perfection...what a shame
Author notes
When you're labeled something it's hard to rise above it, people expect it ouf you all the time. Sometimes you just want to rip your skin and show them that you bleed blood too.
I realize that there is swearing in this piece, if that goes against your wishes or rules I'm sorry. You just need to say and I will kindly remove it. Thank you.
A contest entry
- It's Not Okay to Smile. by Fosh.
350 points, ended July 5, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Exquisitely dark. I can sense your frustration and the power inside you. It seems to build up through the poem to the point that you roar loudly at the end.
Nicely done.
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Thanks for the comment
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Powerful...like a rapid dog
this was powerful. it had such an attitude about it. your word usage really help you get your message across. this was well penned and i liked it
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Thank you
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powerful.
the expectations of others can weigh a person down. i think we as females feel the weight more than the guys. i long to get to a point in my life where i can seek disapproval... and be okay with receiving it. that would be liberating.
this piece spoke to me. a thought provoking write. - NANGALEEMA
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Thank you for this heart warming comment
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Sometimes the expectations to see those who you care about -- do well... or to 'continue' to do well. The image we carry 'leaders' - 'followers' - Not so bright - amazingly bright - Slutty - Preppy - Sweet - Bitchy... regardless of the label - often it is difficult to show others we are changing. [Especially if your a teenager]
The best thing to do is talk to those who has labelled you... [Only the ones you really care about their opinions] and set them down. Explain to them, you may had been the genius when you were in the 5th grade, but now your not. Explain how 'labelling' puts pressure on you ... you don't need. It's like having to jump the high-bar everyday. Maybe your just tired of jumping that bar. Maybe you need a little break and want to lower the bar. It doesn't mean you won't raise it later.
Explain to them you know how you feel and what you can accomplish. As you change who you are your accomplishments is what makes you... you. And if those who has labelled you 'care' about you. They will stop.
If it is someone who you don't really care about, or about their opinion tell them to take their 'label' and give it to someone else, cause you don't care what they think.
I really wish you the best. I hope you find a way to get past the label, without feeling the pressure to continue the fasuade' {not sure if I spelt that right}
Good luck in the contest ~ Truly a heartfelt poem. Nice job! -
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Thank you soo much for your comment! Your wisdom has helped me a lot. Thank you.
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wow
very dark!!
but it is good!!
good luck in the contest!!
i bet you will win!!
great write!!
SilverWolf
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Thank you
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Dark and emotional. A very good write! I wish you the best in your contest! God bless.
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Thank you for the comment.
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Beauty in depth and emotion...great imagery and metaphor make this piece so well done...grace in word choice and flow as one feels the heat of your words burn upon what they may have believed to be real...for pedestals are meant for us to break our own necks and you said it all with class...excellent work...best to you!
mystic
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Thank you for the beautiful comment. Greatly appreciated.
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i love the way you made such a dark seem beautiful....this work is the work of a genius!
Cut my wings off only to fall from grace.....i don't know why but it just spoke to me....
bloody wishes to you too
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Thank you, that means a lot.
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That's really intense. You write in the dark genre incredibly well. I like this one especially because of how unique it is. I love how it's not straight forward and you have to read it a few times to actually understand it (without the author notes of course). I love the language used in it as well. It really lends itself to the overall mood, and overall, this poem is amazing. Great job! I'm sure you'll do well in the contest.
Sincerely,
ModernXTimes
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Thank you, I don't try to be dark it just sort of happens. Lol If that's at all possible. Thanks for the comment, greatly appreciated.
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hey, everyone's got their own little niche. Yours just happens to be the dark genre. You can't help what you're good at. ^_^
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I think it is an amazing poem so much emotion so much feeling
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Thank you, greatly appreciated.
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