A single lily pad
In the middle of a vast pond
Sits a lone girl
She has no one and nothing
Men come in little boats every single day
Asking for her hand in marriage
But she turns them all away
She has met her true love already
But he has gone away
Into the fog that swathes between the pond weeds
Will she ever leave the lily pad?
No, she shall eternally reside
On the single lily pad
On the lone pond, parted only by the little boats with suitors
Suitors she will turn all away
The heart they seek has been stolen
By the man with the dancing white hands
The man that had departed in the fog
That seems to stretch to the end of the world
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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"Outstanding"
I really appreciated this piece; the imagery of the pond and this girl left alone on the lily pad is outstanding. A heart breaking story, makes the reader want to go out there and find the fool that has left her there...
You have done an excellent job with this write, I wouldn't change any thing. Thank you for sharing!
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aww thanks so muchh for your comment. Yes everyone is feeling quite sympathetic towards this main character:[ hehhe
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Hi S...G...
Your poem is fresh air. Too many young ?poets? seem to call themselves one the day after they buy themselves a rhyming dictionary. Your poem has normal feelings that you personify simply yet astutely. Your rhythm is easy to follow and overall your poem is interesting and well done. You will, of course, though you don't feel it, hop off that Lilly Pad and return to the mayhem called life where you you will learn that really living is a balance of pleasure and of pain, and that without either (comparisons are the gears of life) living is crap.
You commented on my poem WITH CANDLELIGHT: "The Shadow Waltz across the walls
share yourself with mirrors and glass"
What does that line mean??
I think this poem would be a more interesting if he were an arsenist or something!
At the beginning I didn't suspect he loved the flame. It was a little bit short to make your point, but at least this is the most...
I have personified a lit candle wick into an erotic and lovely female dancer. Have you ever sat still in a dark room and watched a candle's light flicker and sway, creating a dance on the walls and ceiling where the light mixes itself with shadows and sparkles on glass panes and on mirrors and as you watch the light it becomes a the beautiful dancer exhibiting phenomenal motions and enticing movements and you don't know if her dance is for her own pleasure or for your pleasure. It sure beats sitting on a Lilly Pad forever. If you read the following poems maybe you can acquire a firmer grip on the wonderful deep depths of poetry. They are poems you will relate to and poems that if you dare try will lead you out of the fogs you will too often experience when young:
http://www.bartelby.com/102/65.html
http://www.victorianweb.org/authors/hardy/pva114.html
http://www.bartleby.com/131/1.html
http://www.poetry-archive.com/h/the_darkling_thrush.html
I didn't list the titles so you might better remember them on your own. Hoping for you the very best - billpoet
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Hi B....P
hay hay hay this poem is *not* about me lol I actually rarely write poems about myself. But Im glad you liked my poem so much!! ^ ^
THe links werent quite my taste in reading lol>< The last one was alright though.
Thanx for explaining that line, however it's my experience when I see fire in a mirror it just hurts my eyes heheh. But I do know what you mean about the walls, it makes very fond shadows.
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A BEAUTIFUL FANTASY!!!
The test of true love! A beautiful little story filled with all that a fairy tale should be.
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Sounds like a fairy tale here - will a frog prince come to rescue her, give her a kiss and turn her into a humn princess? All sorts of outcomes for this situation.
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thx for commenting ^ ^
Nooo lol this poem doesnt involve any frog its just this pixie-like character sort of like thumbelina that sits reminising sort of sulking in the middle of a pond for eternity. No one is coming. She's romantically ruined, alas..
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Hmm.. not bad!
I didn't really like the use of some stuff.. it just sounds weird...
"Suitors she will turn all away"... sounded a little out of place... didnt flow tt good...
"Into the fog that swathes between the pond weeds" was really nice though... -
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I dont agree that line sounded out of place but the grammar of its a bit off yeah.
Thanks for commenting..
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This poem reminds me of my own poem "Frog". You should check it out sometime. I desperately want to go to this girl sitting on the lilly pad and tell her to just keep on kissing those frogs and not to give up hope!!
The imagery is really good though, I like it a lot. And the imagery is good in helplessness
Keep on writing
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Ohh yeah I actually read that in the literary mag, it was very good!!
&Thx for commentingg:]
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Ahahh aw thx Carrlaeyy<3
Just so you knwo this isnt about mee. It spawned from a rather mundane thing
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What a sad fairy tale. Very well penned, but so sad. This is why you have to let go because otherwise you'll be waiting in the middle of a foggy pond forever by yourself wondering what's on the other side of the fog and wondering if anybody will emerge from it. Very good job. Kimmy!
~Carli~
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