A fatal attraction was all it could ever be
my heart was set on having you
& your beautiful eyes were set on me
misinterpretation and illusions were all my careful eyes could see
I've been countlessly torn apart
too easily I hand over my terrified bleeding heart
just to watch him carelessly walk away
but in the back of my mind
I know it would've been a mistake if he would have stayed;
But I can say that I've changed, I've grown up a lot
torn pages of memories and calamitous poetry on the floor
are really all I've got left.
The predicament I'm in now I feel isn't worth the fight
& I've known from the very start that we'll never be right
I found the strength to turn down a shameful bliss
[I can't do this.]
For the first time
I feel I've done the opportune thing
it wasn't fair to anyone,
complications are all our actions would bring
wanting you and craving your presence
held me by a very thin string
I know what it's like to be torn apart
& never getting back the missing pieces of my heart
so I'll watch you walk away
it'll hurt like hell,
but I know it would be a mistake if you decide to stay.
It's a planned out exit strategy
Putting the frustrations to rest and letting them be
Don't begin to tell me it's me you really want and need
I'm tired of a constant lust
that only contains this unwanted greed;
Your actions speak louder than your useless words
But I'm innocently pushing you away,
in case you haven't heard
I found the strength to turn down a shameful bliss
[I can't do this.]
Author notes
YoureNoGoodForMe
I wrote this out of a personal experience. its not fun :[
A contest entry
- Whatever..just make it good. [astonish me] by borrowing.moonlight.
1000 points, ended June 30, 2008, 160 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Regretful Disgrace by Silly Rabbit..
1900 points, ended August 2, 2008, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever You May Desire by InMyFlames.
600 points, ended July 9, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tired of HM's? (VI) by PatheticKt.
300 points, ended August 17, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
pleassse tell me what you think :]
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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the flow was a little rough but overall i liked it. thanks for entering.
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This was an emotionally revealing write, raw and real. The flow isn't the best...but the content is wonderful. It was like a free write with rhyme intermingled. Thanks for the entry.
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Ahh great poem you got here and it's quite powerful seeing how this was a personal experience
I'll be honest that I didn't concentrate much because I know the theme is about heartbreak, heartache(same thing?) but it seems like the transition's kind of messy ^^
No worries, though because I admire the lines written here triggering raw emotion especially letting the reader feel your impact from this situation that you've been in ^^
Overall, an amazing write with such simplicity yet power held within the words penned here
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I really enjoyed [I can't do this] after the lines as is you really want to be strong but just don't have the faith in yourself. The story here was sad but very good. Thanks for entering and good luck
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Well, some of the lines like 'terrified bleeding heart' were kind of cliche. I enjoyed the overall tone and message of this piece and am sort of baffled at the random '<3' ending. This was a good effort.
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ow.ow.wow.
what an incredible viewpoint. i never thought to look at it that way. shameful bliss, indeed. the emotion of this piece run ramped and i really like that. love. no. love? no. love. no love.
best wishes to keep the strength. it's hard to go without someone especially when you got so used to needing them. you seem like a strong individual. i have faith in you.
best of luck dear. -
I know exactly how u feel. Times like these are difficult but things like writing and such help us pull through.
This write was absolutely stunning, well done
-Good Luck -
Amazing! I wish you the best of luck in the contest! i know what your going through I've been there myself. . .
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wow this poem is simply amazing
i really loved it.
i felt like i can understand everything you said
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I know what it's like to be torn apart
And never getting back the missing pieces of my heart
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i'm gonna have to say that's my favourite part.. even tho i loved all of it haha
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Goood i loved this poem alot it was very well written thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck.
..
Shelly -
Such a beautiful poem... I love this. I personally have yet to find that strength spoken here and I wish to someday soon uncover it.
Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest =]
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i LOVE this, immediate finalist list entry!!
idk what else to say but the emotion in it was just amazing well done and thankyou for entering -
YAY GUMMI BEARS!!!
Hehe, I love this. Lots of emotion. And I can really relate to this...Regret sucks doesn't it? Great write
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i could tell there was a lot of emotion in it. and many people can relate to it. it was very good.
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you have strong phrases and good imagery in this piece. the following is my favorite:
"For the first time I feel I've done the opportune thing
It wasn't fair to anyone, complications are all our actions would bring
Wanting you and craving your presence held me by a very thin string
I know what it's like to be torn apart
And never getting back the missing pieces of my heart
So I'll watch you walk away"
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wow! this is very good, had to read it through twice. I can totally relate. I love the way you use i can't do this, and in brackets. Like it is just known, not something you are really trying to tell the reader. Love it!
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I love this one one of my favs!! <3
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OMG
Omg this caught my eyes the very first line
This was like omg amazing it brought back so many
memmories and the meaning behind it was like omg
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Thanks! :] Yeah, this is definitely a personal piece. Thanks for reading<3
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'I know what it's like to be torn apart
And never getting back the missing pieces of my heart
So I'll watch you walk away
It will hurt like hell, but I know it would be a mistake if you decide to stay.'
That bit was like...woah. It hit me with a ton of amazing words.
You've got loads of talent, I'm gonna look at lots of your stuffs now lol
♥
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Thanks ! :] I'm glad you liked it <333
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this is beautiful.
i can relate to that.
really good write, i like a lot of your stuff
and thnks for the comment on mine.
(:
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Thanks ! I'll have to check out some more of your work :] <3
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Such vivid emotions coming to life in this writing...the pain just comes out of the screen as I'm reading this...I must say you have your ways with words too lol...great minds think alike...now would you excuse me while I'm going to the corner to weep
Keep on writing!!!
Lieu
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thats beautiful i must come back and read it again later
Wanting you and craving your presence held me by a very thin string
I know what it's like to be torn apart
thats my favorite part =]
you have a way with words...
thanks so much for entering
good luck -
LOVE IT!
cou;dnt say it any better.......
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whoaaa
God, hoe, your poems have seriously been making me tear up lately!! This is beautiful<3
It's not often that poems can leave me speechless, but you just keep really blowing me away.
*Too easily I hand over my terrified bleeding heart
Just to watch him carelessly walk away
But in the back of my mind I know it would've been a mistake if he would have stayed.*
Loveee those. Isn't it unbelievable how such a simple action can determine whether you break or move on?
*But I can say that I've changed, I've grown up a lot
Torn pages of memories and calamitous poetry on the floor
Are really all I've got left*
Wowww. So perfectly worded and ahhh, just stunning! That's how I totally feel right now -- so true. My fav's<33
I also liked the "I can't do this" repetition because it made that your determination and strength stand out.
Ilyy alott <333
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A powerful write! Great job!
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wow, this is an amazing write, i loved it. =]
you have talent, keep writing =] -
That last line has so much power in it, I love your endings they are always so perfect for your poems. very well written you have a beautiful talent
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