Gaze into my eyes of aging fear,
Allow your masculinity to reveal my innocense.
I somehow long for those feelings of happiness.
No longer naive nor young,
I grasp fantasies tail with fluttering hands.
Touch my body as if it were beautiful,
Allow your breath to melt my hearts anger.
I yearn to feel that special connection.
Not happpy nor sad,
I cling to my dreams with false pretenses.
Envelope me within your arms embrace,
As if my serene and angelic features were yours to feast upon.
Clinging hopelessly to false truth,
I grab hold of fantasies reigns-
And flee my unjustifiable fear.
Author notes
I am wonderful
A contest entry
- Personal Best: contemporary poems. by Brit-Girl.
700 points, ended August 12, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Peer Pressure Contest!! You decide the trophy winners!! by Zenda-Lokki.
1700 points, ended January 7, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - very tough contest :P (don't just sit and enjoy your holidays without poetry ) by abuyi.
1400 points, ended February 22, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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profound
its nice.. its so profound. it talks about so many topics but most self appreciation.
the flow is smooth and subtle.
great read and thanks for entering my contest -
I like it, it's an old person, right, dreaming of youth, pretending, that's how it seemed to me anyway, and why I liked it.
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It's great that you think you're wonderful!
To be honest, I did enjoy this poem. Why? Because of the great IMAGERY you put into it! There were some great, uncommon images in this poem. Good job.
"Touch my body as if it were beautiful,
Allow your breath to melt my hearts anger."
I really like the voice and the tone in these lines. They were my favorite part. -
Touch my body as if it were beautiful
My favorite line. I really enjoyed your poem. Excellent imagery. -
It manages to sound sensual and dark all at the same time. Again, I think there are a few grammatical errors, but overall nicely done.
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Good luck hun x
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This is a beautiful poem! Your word choice is amazing.
"Touch my body as if it were beautiful
Allow your breath to melt my heart's anger"
I'm speechless.
Good luck in the contest!
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Your word play is astounding and makes me feel like jumping head first into your fantasy xx
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Somehow, it feels as if you are expressing serenity through apathy.
As if dreaming to not feel would feel the realist of all....
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Touch my body as if it were beautiful,
Allow your breath to melt my hearts anger.
beautiful.
very nice write.
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this is a nice write, i like the story
try using spell check
thank you for your entry!
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pretty poem.
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Beautiful words
thank you for entering
Blessings -
this poem was quite belle. I like the way the endings are all connected in a very intricate way. I don't know how to describe it...this poem had me captivated in a very soothing way. Keep writing you have an amazing gift =]
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This poem feels like you are contemplating submitting yourself to someone else, but the missing element seems to be any indication of how the other feels. I seem to miss understanding what you mean by "false pretenses" in this use: do you mean that you bring false pretenses, or do you mean the other tricks you with false pretenses? This seems like a really important element since it is the title. There are beautiful lines that flow with power, but because there is some vagueness with meaning, I'm stuck there.
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It is used in the sense that the other person whom I speak of, brings false pretenses to my table of roses.
if that makes sense to you
thanks for the critique
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Omg the second stanza was awesome.
Touch my body as if it were beautiful,
Allow your breath to melt my hearts anger.
I yearn to feel that special connection.
Not happpy nor sad,
I cling to my dreams with false pretenses.
ok so the first line is sensual and i really like the words you use. The second line i love the "melt my anger". Last but not least the the last is a great line.
I love how your poem flows keep up the good work ~brook -
From a guy's view, that's pretty much sums up what makes us feel guy-ish, having the woman who we can help with our studliness. Very nice. Very enticing.
Spell check on innocence. -
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lol well thank you I am glad to have a male's perspective on this...
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This was a very well written poem I really like it a great deal. I could see the imagery in the poem and the flow tripped off my tongue. Thank you for sharing this with us but I must ask you to follow the rules of putting "I am wonderful" in your AN. Good luck in my contest.
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