Hushed tranquility escorts murkiness of ideas,
never to be filed for 'future' reference -
personification of shadows always just out of sight,
I glance with dilated fright at demons goading viciousness.
BLINK ...
Rectification adjusted sight through blackened glasses,
as sigh escapes through pulsating sweat -
obligatory smile at irrelevant conversation adorns face,
eyes burning for more of the gloom that was promised before.
BLINK ...
Intertwined friends dancing through shredded intestines,
titivated by goblets falling from splintered teeth -
a smirk masking my outside personality as enjoyment lures,
promising acceptance of blackness of hopes and dreams ensue.
BLINK ...
Dementia straightens my shoulders to illustrate my normality,
glazed look of madness hidden behind overused grins -
darkness loitering in the furthest recesses of my mind,
I permit it playtime only through my view of the twisted world.
Author notes
Title prompt: Obscurity lingers
Each time I blink I have to remember that the world needs to see the normal side of me and I may only allow my demented, twisted way of viewing the world to come out in my own mind ...
A contest entry
- Spill Some Ink My Way by jasminerose.
850 points, ended July 6, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Brilliant!
Loved the ending "darkness loitering in the furthest recesses of my mind,
I permit it playtime only through my view of the twisted world."
It can be read in a variety of ways and makes one go back over the poem. Is the world truly twisted or is the person's perception twisted. I am sure many psychologists have had a field day with that thought ...
Well done!
-
Excellent penning in this piece, filled with darkness, outstanding imagery with an onset of jitters to boot!
An obscure muse of clarity!
Thank you so very much for sharing your normal side with us all
Jasminerose
-
And, evidently, in your poetry
What a wonderful write... so emotive that I was feeling your demntia by the time I got thru... BLINK
Well done Chantel...
Ken
-
'Rectification adjusted sight through blackened glasses',
The above part...I don't know, it made me shiver. Such a simple line, but chilling in its simplicity. I caught the glimpse of a madman, or woman, sweating and adjusting her/his glasses, as they walked through the crowded streets. Trying to make sense of it all. Through that simple sentence there, that placed the image deep within my psyche. Tatts, you were insanely brilliant with this piece. Hahaaha.
I felt that the above line, set off the rest of the piece brilliantly-well. This made me shiver a lot. Your descriptions, and flow of the piece [and also that darkness that was produced here,] was beautiful. Well done Tatts. Well done indeed. I really, truly loved this. Could be a gold, methinks? And why not, too?
With
Darkest
Wishes
Wayne Leon
xx
-
Dementia straightens my shoulders to illustrate my normality,
glazed look of madness hidden behind overused grins -
I can feel this....VERY POWERFUL IMAGERY WITHIN YOUR WORDS HERE....
**mASTER kTULU**
-
Very powerful imagery in this. I liked the last two stanzas. It made me think of how sometimes things may not always be as they seem. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
-
Fantabulous
even if thats not a word it still describes this write, you strike again my silkly sly serpent and the bite is bittersweet and just darkly exquisite! Thanks for this bold look at how those of us that are less then acceptable have to fill in the 'gaps' so that the rest of the world understands.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
