i'm the WRONG actress for this movie (AFFECTION afflicting my thoughts...affecting my control)

how can this be?
this isnt meant for someone like me...
real feelings of happiness are not quite right
as if expecting for something to go wrong.
as if waiting for a defect in the moment.

i'm the wrong actress for this movie.
the tragedy is lost for now,
wait, is this a romantic film?
the predictablity of script couldnt mean less to me.
as the corners of my mouth reach into what i gather is a smile,
          (lost by lack of use)
confusion of true feeling of affection arises,
but it doesnt have time to weave uncertainty.
as my cheeks flush pink in light-headedness

as i stare into the eyes in which i drown,
i beam as if the sun as never shined brighter.
as his hand touches mine,
anticipation of what is next to come invades.
then as if in slow motion the action in which i had been musing over for days occured.
his fingers interwine with mine.

then in what seems like seconds,
theres a fork in the road in which i long to follow.
my heart sinks 10 feet below sadness
the sign is painted with a street name i wish would disappear.
i ache for everything around us to fall apart...

but still the sign points the way in which i am inclined to turn.

our last embrace is short.
ended by only hope that this enchantment will never break.
i long for so much more,
but i do not take what i desire,
in fear of ruining the feeling of his cool hands holding mine.
in concern of jepodizing this precious time.
            (is it to early to say perfection is achivable?)

then my back is turned to all that i want.

but the wide golden smile remains plastered to my face long after;
as the memory of untainted bliss lingers,
hovering with a shadow of delight,
left upon the cloud nine which is filled with ectasy of the most addictive kind.