Gentle soul, I hear
where hate abounds and surrounds
Emerald Isle stained red -
stars, though fixed, like souls can move
God speed healing in their hearts
Author notes
For a poet friend in Northern Ireland
Written November 0th, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Outstanding!
OMG! This is a very soul-touching write...something which tugs at the heartstrings. I like the contrast between the first three lines on one hand and the last two on the other. L1 is a very powerful line which makes the reader feel that it is a Goddess who speaks the line. It makes me feel that it is Kuan Yin who has heard the sorrow of the people of Emerald Isle and who is going to sprinkle kindness all over Emerald Isle within the flash of a moment. L3 is very strong in imagery - blood red strikes out loud. It is a powerful Kaori{pivot} and very strongly holds and then blends the Kaminshu{upper part of the tanka} with the Shimonoku{lower part of the tanka}. The last two lines impart hope and this is just beautiful. The stars are always looked at by lots of people as a symbol of hope{as something which will show the way so to speak}. There could be no better word to use in L4 other than stars. I loved L4 and L5. This is a very well written tanka.
Thank you for sharing and I hope and wish for the very best for your friend.
-Charishma -
Thank you, Abel!
~ G
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It is so sad to think of all the blood spilled...I always thought of Ireland as a magical place...this is a great Tanka...one of the best I've read on this site...Peace Abel
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Excellent
Hi Ma'at-ka-ra:
Excellent Tanka and an excellent story for all to share in hopes that "God" will "speed healing in their hearts" Thanks for sharing this piece with us. Bill -
this is well done...... wonderful form to work with.....
Don -
Thank you so much, Skinwalker, for your kind words and discerning eye! Your opinion means a lot to me, (One Who Writes with Great Heart)...
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applaud
Thanks for sharing this write...the image you used were just beautiful!!!!!!!!!I am captivated by this... I think that what you wanted to capture in this write is really what you got... I hope to read more of your writes but until then keep writing with your more than perfect words. take care always ~Star -
Excellent work , thanks fro sharing !!!!
Omg Maatkara this is a absolutely beautiful Tanka !!!In my opinion .. It's so sad and the imagery you have conjured up by way of craftiness and skill is awesome !!! >>
"Gentle soul, I hear
Where hate abounds and surrounds
Emerald Isle stained red -"
A perfect image of clear eyesight into the opaque depths of hate ..The last two lines are hope from distance souls of mercy. >
"Stars, though fixed, like souls can move
God speed healing in their hearts
I can't say enough about how great your american Tanka is in my eyes ..Oh , HAPPY NEW YEAR ~ ((girl that writes great poems))
>Big Smiles < oh b/t/w now you are on my favorites ~Skinwalker
Edited on Dec 31, 11:08 because ''. -
Hi BlackLight ~ That's what Tanka is, short. It's an ancient form of poetry from Japan that has 31 syllables, and written in 5 lines. It is a good discipline to practice, to confine your thought and feeling to a few lines.
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it wes a bet short but all the same i liket it it was hard for me to unrstand but it was a good right keep it up
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